Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Buffetting : Ending 2013

Well, its about what every blogger is going to post about ain't it? 2013 has been sweet, bitter, sour and lotsa spiciness throughout the year. So let's take a flash back on what happened in every month in 2013:

January: Noticing that I'm actually finally back in the saddle of vet school, ending my first semester back again in vet school. It has been a nightmare roller-coaster struggle trying to get back to this saddle; and my first semester has indeed very well been spent. My relationship with the coursemates became so much closer; only to realize this is going to be short-lived. The club trips, Vetsoul trips, as well as our very own Vetcamp, has certainly bonded us in ways beyong imagination.

February: More bonding took place because of all the intense faculty activities which require all of us to stick in together in working for a better reputation of our batch. At some point, I swear the second semester was all about bonding for the whole batch. One incident took toll on me the most was when the 2nd chances got back together; giving me quite an impact. It wasn't a problem before in semester 1, but it became an issue because I had to be extra careful around her now; as we were working very closely as the Co-directors. However, we resolved our issues when I opened up to her about T; which I'm glad I did because that helped clear things between us for better efficiency in working Dogathon.

March: The semester never ended with bonding, pretty much all the events are cramped in one full semester. The vet dinner and vet sport events were crazy simply because our batch was the one organizing it. Every single manpower matters. The dinner turned out to be fantastic while we actually won overall champion for Vet Sport; with a round holder for the Bashir Cup; the cup named after our former dean.

April: April went on with several outings and events also; the last faculty event namely Majlis Silaturahim  which challenges the vet students which creativity and cultural experiences; instead of submerging ourselves in the sea of delocalized medical books all year long. I swore we could have won the Ali Cup; the cup named after the professor initiating the event, but the judging system this year thinks otherwise.

May: Mundane, but stuffs happened too. The most significant event is probably what I'd actually knew about the Best bud, and we talked it out as an adult. I feel like that whole part of best bud life, I totally have missed it out. It has been 4 fucking years he've been there; I didn't bother to ask nor care about that part of his life. It made me feel really bad, because I don't even dare to say I know him well anymore. Things have been going well until today; what I hope is things will get better, for both of us.

June: Filled with practicals. I've been to pig farm, chicken farm, and cattle farm crossing 3 different states throughout the practicals. Ending the 4th semester in UPM was pretty heavy, but it made me realized that; I don't have much time with the previous batch, and there is this need to bond better with the next junior batch. Wake up call much?

July: The practicals ended in a month's time, probably the longest one among my friends because I took 2 weeks of cattle farm practical. What has impacted most in this month was the fact that I might not be looking into the livestock industry as I look at before. I have been awarded the "typical city boy" title, and I would like to honor that; because I simple work best in a city setting. This practical has certainly made me think twice about my career outcome in the livestock industry.

August: Needless to say, it has been the most magical month for me. I'd probably need to set it as a month to be worshiped because of the nature of the month to me. I spent my first birthday overseas, something which I have longed to do since the dawn I set eyes on Japan because I wanted to have my tertiary education outside Malaysia; I failed, but spending it in Chiang Mai on the Queen's birthday was downright awesome. The Chiang Mai conference and trip was definitely enlightening, changing my views on Thailand forever; while I was luck enough to have met T there. It has been the best August ever, and I guess my birthday present, best one ever is to have met T

same ol hint, T is in here

September: Stepping back into the university again after the semester break was different; simply because I've finally experienced the life outside of university during a long break for once. Juggling between life with T, trying to sort out everything for Dogathon as well as stepping down as the student rep; not to mention academics, everything was like a roller coaster ride in September. Surviving September 2013, was really a challenge.

October: DogathonTM 2013 is definitely the highlight. An event which our whole batch spent 1 whole year to prepare. The largest dog gathering in Malaysia, no joke man. It was a success, although I swear I was going to break down when it rained like cats and dogs 4am in the morning; the sun manage to shine in at 7am to make the whole Bt Ekspo a blazing oven throughout the day. Luck was really on our side. No regrets in taking up the role as the Co-director;and I couldn't have picked the best team; my whole batchmates DVM 2016.

November: Stepping down from SRC, Relieving role as Co-director and 4 core subjects had made my life a lil dainty, light and lost. The thing that I was given time to do most was, preparing for the transition. Of course I had more time to drool over T, but T wasn't free due to examination constraints. I've also made a bold decision in getting a plane ticket to Chiang Mai on April 2014 for a practical, and to meet T for Songkran. People out there, you know what Songkrans mean to the circle ait?

December: Settling all the matters aside in November, December was the time for me to connect more with my friends, family as well as T. I didn't have much time to get my body into shape because my back is still on treatment, but I certainly have made lots of connections. Seeing that I will have more time in the future semesters with my loose schedules, I should totally reconsider going back home on weekends. It's not like anyone would need me to be around anymore, since everyone is pre-occupied with their loved ones and all.

In a nutshell, 2013 has been a great year.

A year which I have managed to live and transitioned; giving me enough time and preparation to move on to my next phase in life;

A phase without workload to serve others,
A phase with a person matters a lot to me,
A phase which I can focus a lot more on the art and practice,
A phase with more self-discovery and enrichment.

2014, time for the next phase of my life.

How was your 2013?

Saturday, December 28, 2013

Buffetting : End of Seasons

It's 29th already, man 2013 was somewhat a roller coaster ride and a lag train in the same time!

I'll do the wrapping up on 31st after my 1st finals paper(sucks to be me, but its the public university) cause that paper is one massive viral infection to be neutralized! It's the immunology talk by the way.

Christmas was much family orientated this year, not much of shopping or partying around shopping malls or what not, just 2 simple dinner in 2 different houses.

1- Dinner with the maternal family on Christmas eve
As the usual Kajang Satay sponsor, I was early, and finished my portion of food up even before the crowd came in. Studied a little before the others pop in when we started our present exchange. It's a little less bustling this year compared to last, probably because of the rain on that night. Whats more, it seemed to be less people this year too, at least from my generation. The words on the party didn't cross well, while a few of the closer cousins are now working and all. The night to some extend was somewhat boring, to the point that I wished I could have stayed in the hostel to study more. Thankfully, the night ended okay, with a vote for the suckiest present given:

Dropped on my family's lap, I've decided to take it and put it in my car instead. I was struggling between putting in the car or my bed; because it reminds me of T( Line is where we interact most anyway); but I'd figure, Brown would be a much better resemblance for T.

With the Penang trip for the SRC bonding, it made my whole week worst:

No work out, no study, lotsa fat gained.

End of seasons, time for war! 

4 courses only, so it's definitely a 4.0 this semester!!

Monday, December 23, 2013

Buffetting : Instagram

So I finally jumped into the bandwagon, only to realize I actually only really follow like that many people. It's really crazy to see how many people actually began to follow you just like that. It was only 24 hours after I've decided to make it public, and I managed to get a tiny 22 followers in total.

But really, is everyone just following for the sake of increasing the number, or do they really wish to follow you?

Hmm, its definitely something to ponder over. I always thought instagram would be my personal space to post pictures pertaining me and T; but I guess now its pretty publicized to make it private?

If you are interested, here's the link:


It ain't that coolios, but its just something I can afford to spend time on now.

Back to different sizes and shapes of kidneys!

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Buffetting : Solution

I never stopped to amaze myself at different circumstances in life.

A simple task of trying to fix the glutinous rice ball soup(Tang Yuan) made me realize that, I can now solve problems.

It seemed to be really trivial, but I'd figure it would give me some head start and spark on, I am actually stepping into adulthood and responsibility sooner than I thought I was.

This year the festival was different for our family because we didn't make those TY ourselves, but bought from the market instead. The soups were left on the altars from morning till night because dad forgot to inform us, while us being kids didn't really bother.

When dad decided to reheat those soups on the altar, only to realize some of them went a lil stale during the heating; mom almost went berserk on him. It's quite pointless because the berserk wouldn't solve any problem, like those episodes of tantrums before at home or at work.

The fact that I automatically fixed it by changing the soup, chucking the rest of the balls into cold water and making a new sugar solution base to rid the stale smell totally caught me off guard.

I became a solution machine at some point.

Maybe its a skill I pick up being in the university for the past 14 weeks solving others' problems but mine?

It's definitely useful and employer-desired-skill.

But sometimes I'd wish I could develop more skills and visions further than managerial level.

Or maybe I'm really just meant to be someone to be in the health field; fixing elephant's musth maybe?

On the side note, T has been really quiet these days. I mean, I get the test loads ans all, academics over lvoe and I really look up to that. But one text before you sleep wouldn't hurt right?

What happened to the passion, the pictures of events, the constant curiosity we had?

It's just not right to let it fade out like that, and I would really like to preserve this. But, for only one side of the party to preserve it, ain't going to make everything work, yes no?

Man, its only the 4th month, I swear I almost had one of the breakdowns and giving-up episodes last week. The constant gives without being reciprocated and all did tax on my mind, really, but sometimes T didn't really get what I wanted to tell.

I guess love is a double-edged sword; it makes your heart fluff up, and eats you up like a blood-thirsty macrophage at times.

Come on now, let's work harder!

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Buffetting : Christmas

So I became Santa for 3 person this year:

1- The name I picked , for me to be the Secret Santa this year
I totally forgot to take a picture of the lanyard I handmade for Bimbo's twin before I gave it to her. Should have taken a picture seeing it was my virgin hand-made knot present. But I totally enjoyed making it. Thanks to Monkey for helping me out and showing me some ropes, literally

2- T
I won T a long-sleeve Uniqlo Heattech shirt in navy; bet the I would melt if it were to be on T's body. Together with a handmade Christmas card, hopefully these could warm T up with the cold weather in Chiang Mai.

3- The cousin's Christmas gathering.
I have no idea what to get yet. The idea is to get something MORE THAN RM100. It's like, omg, really it is so hard to get a unisexual Christmas present these days!

Christmas is definitely one seasonal period with loads of fun. Stepping in university, however cuts it half a little because we are always in Finals or Study week when Christmas hit us. The fun is still there, but I would enjoy more if finals were before not after Christmas.

So how many Christmas gifts have you prepared this year?

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

Buffetting : Course taken on Sem 5

So the semester 5, or rather my 4th semester in the vet fac is going to end in 2 days. Doesn't feel the same like how I did when I first came back. Now, semester ending feels like its something you do everyday.

This semester has been fun, but I would wrap up the activities in another post. This one, is all about the courses I've taken this semester

1- Veterinary Anatomy 2
Continuity from the veterinary anatomy 1, this semester ranged in much deeper structures; going from heart to skeletal-muscular system which almost had me killed. But, I still enjoyed it because it was really fun

2- Veterinary Physiology 2
Continuity from veterinary physiology 1, the whole course ran along parallel with that of anatomy so as we actually understand both the structure and functions of the system we studied. The course was fun because the lecturers are the best ones around as of now. One of them is actually my idol, seeing how he is literally good in every single shit; at least in the field.

3- Small Ruminant Production
An extension from the ruminant production course, but now focusing more on the management of smaller sized ones such as sheep and goat, their economic importance and significance in our market. Fun, the lecturer was okay, everyone liked him anyway. Used to think of this as a course to fill in those elective credits, but somehow the lecturer did enlighten me in several ways.

4- Immunology
Antibodies to cancer immunity, plus dealing with vaccinations. Stepping into this course signs the entering to clinical years as we need to buckle up with our knowledge towards specific requirement and needs of the field. Certainly not the easiest subject out there to conquer, but still the lecturer is too much fun to not enjoy the course

Addition to that, I took an extracurricular subject:
5- Thai language
Learning this beautiful language is certainly a great adventure. I somehow feel like I do have a flair for languages. I wanted to pick up Japanese again, but the time and classes are just too out of sync. Thai wasn't easy, not as Japanese. The letters are definitely more confusing and crazier. But learning it, knowing that I would be one step closer to T and having more opportunities when AEC steps into the picture; beats everything else.Plus, I have a really cool teacher hahaha.

For academics, this semester sure have been, subtle. Next semester would be hardcore, but I have more time than anyone else; so I shouldn't have problems.

Let's hope next semester would be a great one. April is coming soon!!!!!!

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Buffetting : Stepping apart

Holly that better not happen anytime soon between T and Me.

It boiled down into my head when I attended "How Christmas Works?" organized by the IK from the university invited by my Bimbo and Rocky. There were intro of Christmas, sharing of people who approached Christianity, and also caroling, ya know the usual stuffs.

The sharing session was the one which got me thinking the whole night.

The lady speaking was once a miserable kid.
Doesn't speak to the parents, bad relationships with them, depressed all the time, and locked away.
At the verge of giving up life, she met Christianity on the Christmas Eve.
Miracle happened to her when the God "spoke" to her via the bible, with 3 pages she flipped to by random.
Well, that happens.

Let's not talk about how the page got there, but about her change after she approached Christianity.
She got happier, start to speak with the parents, her family more after.
She is no longer oppressed, and is more open and receptive to her social circle.

What bothered me was, I too, developed my spiritual side in Buddhism. But somehow, I feel like I'm so much more drifted from my family. I mean, isn't spiritual guidance supposed to be make us more, closer and tolerant towards the people we care? For me I have been experiencing immense degree of resentment and anger towards my family.

After being through STPM and cultivating my wisdom in practicing Buddhism back then, I feel like I'm no longer as tolerable or "obedient" to my family. I learn to say no, close to rebel when my family put me through episodes I wish not.

The vet-med fiasco was the last straw. I totally shut my doors away from my family.

It's pointless for them to know what I do, what I care, or what I dream of. At least for my mother.

I do not want to tell them, or feel like telling them anything I go through.

My experience directing the largest dog gathering in Malaysia. My mom even asked me "Got so many people meh? What's the point?"
I'm really willing to explain to complete strangers, but to my mom; forget it. I know her too well to know that she wouldn't care.

My experience in the farm practicals. "Yer I can't stand" Not like I can stand working for you in the company like sis did. Can't come into terms in our daily lives, can't imagine one whole day in the office.

My experiences and courses going through in vet school.

My first relationship.

Basically my life. It's like I'm just living off my parents' money right now, and I can't wait to get off the hook. Yes they are family and I really do get it. But right now, after all I have been through, I'm just very much resentful to open up to them. They have really done so much which made me overly shut from them; as family.

Talking so, there are people that I feel like I am totally trying to step away from.

I don't know the reason. This is ridiculous. I know the reasons usually when I step away from a crowd. But now, I totally have no idea. There is no reason to it.

Talking to Ice Queen last night made me realized how angry I am inside towards my family. Those rage, makes me a really miserable person, a bad child.

I'm trying so hard to run away from them, and spending their earnings doing this is just not right.

I guess its the finals' stress? Maybe I should go for a movie after the anatomy practical test next week.

Semester coming to an end means closer to Chinese New Year. Oh gosh, I'm just so not prepared for this right now. I somehow feel like staying in my campus more than going back home emotionally. Going back home, is now just to meet my bed, and my dogs. Miserable.

Sunday, December 8, 2013

Buffetting : Lag Phase

Somehow everything in university life now is pretty much a lag.

Election is over; but the aftermath is pretty much still a big pain in the ass.

I've yet to get back to my gym regime, because my waist is just still biting me hard.

Swimming regime has also been a drag for pete knows reason.

Academics also have been a drag, my motivation to draw bones, muscles and chart physiology flows have been down the drain; I wonder why.
love this picture with the girls for the Uniqlo Heattech submission. 

The text between me and T has been really limited and dry, T probably is like SUPER BUSY and I MUST BE UNDERSTANDING AND PATIENT. It's like our relationship has finally meet its terminal lag phase before in plunges or rockets.

There are several matters I need to deal with now. But somehow my laziness brought the procrastination level in my life to a whole new level.

I kinda lost the motivation somewhere, maybe I'm being too comfortable.

I have a lot of Christmas presents to prepare, practical and finals to prepare, vending machines to be brought into the faculty, and definitely a new physique or me and T prolly break up because we both are gaining weight . Just saying.

On the side note, Big Bad Wolf was a downer this year, again. I think I'm the type who will spend on the books that I want, instead of wasting my time in the midst of book maze; but not knowing what I want.

Time to get back on the saddle!

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Buffetting : Mission Freedom

Finally the campus election is O-V-E-R.

Man I never felt so free in my life, over responsibilities that is.

A lot of drama, politics and hardwork involved. Staying up till 5.30am in the morning making illegal posters? I think I can call that dude my brother.

Anyhow, time to drop serving and working for others; time to initiate Mission Freedom.

What's exactly MI:Freedom all about?

Freedom to spend more time on thyself
Freedom to spend money without being its slave
Freedom to enjoy life not in the expense of tied to monetary issues.

If MI:Freedom works, I think I can pursue in any field in the veterinary pool I want upon my graduation.

Wildlife with the Elephants?
Marine mammals with the Killer Whales?
Dairy farm with the Cows?
Veterinary Hospital with the Small Animals?
Vaccines with the viruses and bacteria?
Pharmaceuticals with the Livestock?
Translator with the Thais, Chinese and Japanese?
Dining outlet with the Livestock?


Just spend the rest of my life adoring T?

I'm more ambitious than the last one LOL.

T did ask me to go over to Thailand for my Masters. Not my first choice, being Japan was my fever and all.

But at the same time, T wasn't sure if Thailand is the place for T's masters either. Imagine if T went to the States while I got accepted in Thailand.

REALLY? Another 4 more years of separation? I can't take THAT much of a LDR.

Planning T's Christmas present is really exciting! Lots of photoshooting involved; but let's hope the greeneries in Ladang 16 do our photoshoot some justice.

Seeing that I'm no longer that busy, I am vacant for paranoia. People around me keeps on telling me that I will definitely fall into the busy abyss again seeing how, well I like to fall into that abyss.

I have only 4 more weeks before the semester ends, with 3 weeks of intensive poultry farm practical; then Chinese New Year.

Getting into shape, learning new instrument, familiarizing with the new language, getting good grades, juggling relationships with 2 different batch mates, looking for a passive income...

Man, I guess I AM still in that abyss!

It's definitely a mixed feeling now. But I'm pretty glad that I am ACTUALLY free. No more phone calls or emails to attend to for once.

Time to be more in love with T, and also making sure its not a one way thing!