Sunday, August 28, 2016

Auscultating : Dates

I can easily count the number of dates I have had before;

1st before I entered university in 2011
2nd when I was still with T in 2014
3rd when I got hooked up with Tinder thanks to Alex L in early 2016
4th when I really got hooked up with so many different other applications in mid 2016

And, I guess that was it.

There wasn't any common denominator among all the dates to boot.

To convince me to go for a date is pretty easy, just make me do it.

Most people I've met on applications are probably not daring enough to make me go for the dates, except for the 2 whom I have stated above.

Succumbing to SLSE myself, I guess. Not too sure it would be the same if I had my physique back in my primes.

However, there are some criteria I would really appreciate if the dates had:
- 178cm and above, because I'm already 185 myself. Can't really imagine a 170cm beside me though. This is not absolute, but height definitely would be one of the top considerations

- Physique, best would be those with regular sports like basketball or badminton. Gym physique ain't all that high and mighty, heck sometimes even with a little tummy it can be quite appealing. Plus I', no where near fit right now.

- Educated, not professor level but enough to put up an intelligent conversation which we both can enjoy our times together, or even joke about because time wouldn't be stretchy with the boring ones.

- Asians, East Asians are definitely best; but knowing myself with my mysterious foreigner magnet; I'm probably open to most. But the cinabengs, maybe not too appealing.

- Definitely someone who have at least got through college; meaning they are at least 24 years old. Some youngsters can be a pain, but that's because they have been through less comparatively.

- People who know what they want in life, are working for it, and actually would make effort to get me to the dates. If you want me, you need to come get it.

Saying all these, I'm still not going for any dates after the last one. Probably because I'm not the dating type.


Monday, August 22, 2016

Auscultating : Attention seeker

Living alone in my own house away from my family made me realize how much I'd actually deprive from attention, from my family that is.

I probably brought the whole formula to myself.

At one point, when I go home, my family would be talking about each other's life like my elder sister's daughter, my brother's and younger sister's badminton log books; seldom about me. At most times I just feel like my presence there is just to fill the family quota full or do my job as a family member there. When I talk about my stuffs, most of the time its just a touch and go, like my grades, a bit of my plans, or my work which no one in the family could relate to. Fair enough, I couldn't relate to their badminton lives as well.

On the other hand, I avoid questions like when will I start dating; am I still together with Queen(which obviously she and I laughed about all the time). Ever since high school I've managed to sort things out for myself most of the time, and things usually work out well to my satisfaction without any need of parental or familial involvement. Most of the time I only consult them in matters which matter.

You see, I've made myself so much as a negligible presence in the equation; intentionally and unintentionally. I do enjoy the freedom from home like sparing myself from the ache of thinking what's today's dinner, the endless chores or unnecessary work at home; yet when I'm back at home sitting with everyone, I can't help feeling that I no longer fit into the family, as in what I do doesn't really matter or change anything around.

Even when I talked about my grades recently, the conversation held about 5 minutes and it ends abruptly.

I believe I am an attention seeker. Probably the attention I lack or do not want from the family brought me to other platforms like school and university. Weird enough I connect better with non-familial backgrounds than my own family.

Maybe again, its because I have extra time that I could think about this. In 2 weeks' time I probably would just immerse in school work again until I finally would graduate.

It's just another 9 more months and I will be in the market. I really wonder on which should I be prioritizing in life- family, friends, health, career or passion.

Dates? Haha, I wonder who would want to date a person like me.