Vet or Med forever?
It ends today.
It ended on Monday technically, but I will announce May 13th 2012 as the official day of Vet OVER Med.
It was a long fight, long struggle, and a long conflict.
Honestly if this didn't end this way, I would probably be enemies for life with my mom.
Yes she loves me a lot, spends a lot on me, gave me education, send me to facial appointments, lotsa other stuffs. But this really meant the MOST to me.
Understanding my point of view,and accepting what I really want. Geez, I hope when time comes things will change for another kind of matter, but that's for another post.
What changed her mind? Hmm, I think the Wesak spirit inspired me a lot.
Honestly when I handed over the letter on Wesak morning, the res of the day(half of it) I'd just gave it up to faith in my words. I didn't bother to think about it, I just worked my way off Wesak volunteering in SJBA, another place I seek refuge in a lot.
Until after lunch, when I finished my shift in the F&B division, and when the parents showed up and talked to my best bud's mom, Auntie Lam.
All hell broke loose when she told me my mum wasn't really keen, and was quite upset talking about me. Instantly I felt stress showering me, and the whole HEP thing kicked it. It was horrible, its like I have totally no idea what to do.
It was as if I was asked to either jump from a cliff and hope that gravity somehow fails, or gravity works and I become what I become.
I was like a totally different person from morning, and I just sat down there and holding my tears back from breaking down. Thank goodness my other best bud Monkey was there holding me on. Thanks Jia Wei, you know we fight a lot, but we somehow got too much in common to not be best buds XD You know I love you la.
Till Auntie Lam introduced me to the Seafield headmistress, whom I forgot the name but I dang very well remembers your face! The talk was brief, but it was the ultimate solution.
I never wanted to get Dad involved in this, but she said,
"If anyone's to know how to deal with your mom, its your dad. He did it for the pat years, and he can do it now. I'm a woman, I know how this works."
Speaking like an American woman. She's a Buddhist by the way.
Her daughter is a working MD now in UK, struggling, but working to her specializing in 5 years time? When she is 35. Great. Good luck. My metta for you.
So the conversation ended abruptly, and I called dad instantly to have a Dad-Son talk which I NEVER had before to get things settled.
Wow, I certainly took plenty of steps, a long way to get to Vet school, I better nail this piece of mozzarella.
Going against my mom, Spending one sem in Msia's so-to-speak best Med school, Dad-Son talk.
This is like THE turning point, like I've repeated so many times, of my life.
The thing went on for a few days, from Wesak Friday to this Monday. I was literally sending Metta every single night just to get this right. Its so funny and pathetic that, I only seek refuge in the Dhamma on occasions that I'm totally lost. I guess I too take the Dhamma for granted.
It took me for like 1 hour to gather my courage and talk to my mom on Monday night. Seriously, I have not been this restless before. In interviews I know I can pull things off, easily. This was worse than any interviews I've been before.
This was more like a court case, to me.
After a 30 minutes of deliberation, mom gave in, and said,
"Do whatever you want. You are 21 soon, you decide what you become."
It was like a instant relief, and the barrier between me and Mom instantly shattered. Our conversation after the minute she said what she said was totally different, and was lightened up.
Thank you mom. I promise I will work dang hard to be the best vet around.
As for now, I'm living my last bits of med school slowly. But there's not much attachment, I can see myself pulling away from most of the entities in Monash soon. It wasn't really hard. In fact I am dying to live away from that place, considering how everything was over-rated somehow. Heck we don't even have enough lecture theaters.
Vet or Med? Veterinary Medicine please. At least I'm doing both.
PS: Happy Mother's Day to mothers out there. If your children know what they are doing, just give them your support.