The whole practical was made possible as my mother was extremely close to the owner of the enterprise. Irony isn’t it? For my mother who was against the whole idea of my being in the agriculture sector to actually have resources to all these. It’s like, everything was meant to be, really.
Learned a lot, as depicted in the previous posts. But what I learned most about was how different perspectives see life differently. The farm manager, also the owner’s son, was only 28 yrs old, and he has been through so much. I feel quite inferior compared to him, and I wonder how far I fair in the coming days. I’m one step behind from so many people who have grown up with me, and looking at people who are closest and dearest to me stepping ahead into their next stage of life while I still remained in another baffles me, a lot.
The practical literally served as a mirror to me, and I’ve began to see more about myself.
RESOURCEFUL. Being able to set up this practical which even my attending lecture couldn’t made me a very resourceful person. I was able to set up logistics aka getting transport to the farm, while the whole practical was literally free, where the lodging and food was readily provided by the farm’s management. Yes, I’ve retrieved all these from my mother’s disposal of her knowing the owner; yet I’m pretty that many people are able to nab opportunities such as these.
ISOLATE. I, sadly isolates myself. Probably because of the presence of 2 pairs of lovebirds in this team. This was noticed by the farm manager himself. I guess I am. I thought I was comfortable, apparently my body begged to differ. I constantly find matters to distract and deter myself from these matters, and gosh Pete knows what my mind is really thinking. I spent a hefty 30 minutes sitting alone outside in the dark corridor just to reconcile my thoughts to make sure I don’t go berserk. And now I’ve decided to type it out, since I don’t really have many avenues to transmit my thoughts.
RESERVED. I can conclude that I am much more reserved than before. Back in high school I once was the person jumping from tables to next causing havoc and cracking up jokes regardless of my imae. It was obvious, especially during my prefect days. Yes, I was the Disciplinary Officer, but I go all out having fun. Today, I am much reserved. I have my crazy moments, but I don’t let my emotions and thoughts out as easily anymore. My siblings have people they can consolidate to; my elder sis was my mother, now her date; my brother his girlfriend and my younger sis her boyfriend. I don’t consolidate to my family simply because I don’t feel like they can relate, just yet. My friends, well, really I don’t tell them up straight. Maybe through channels like blog or the social media, but even today it’s just the blog. I don’t really see how people out there relate to my emotions and thinking anymore.
I constantly hope people tell me what they think about me, but the irony is, I don’t open up much. Really, I wonder what has happened to the old me. I feel, like a stranger. I guess me being strange to the friends I have now, made me a stranger to them. I really do wonder.