Monday, December 31, 2012

Buffetting : Nutshelling 2012

2012, was an extreme year. Much more extreme than 2011.

2010 was crazy, but 2012 was THE battle. Looking back at myself over the past year really have told me what a busy man I have been in 2012, especially in the later months.

January : The year started out very depressingly. Very.

I was forced to enter a course which my family would be happy while I suffer in unsatisfactory and anger. The whole month was enveloped with much rage and madness, any single fickle will render me restless and berserk. I was torn between identities and lives, and knowing I had no full control over my life literally sucked.

But, I was lucky to also have things to take my mind away from stuffs. In this case, my other life with my Japanese class saved me from heck load of madness

February: I've finally accepted the fact that I've no control at this point of my life, and I just have had to give in. The long hours around the family in an awkward atmosphere was no fun. I was literally vindictive down from my core swearing I will not get attached to medicine,

Getting to know a whole new bunch of people seemed to be weird, especially I'm the only one who is 21 and from STPM.

March: I might have gave into enrolling into a med school, but nothing stops me from keeping in touch with my true love, the vet school. I did my very best to have no strings attached to the med school, which I'm glad I did because the place didn't really deserve my love and devotion for it compared to vet school.
My active participation in the faculty event have already determined my firm stand on my future.

April: I lived in the constant struggle one whole month, trying to figure out what is important in my life. I've lost friends, family relationships, health and at some point my temper and mind. Meditation didn't work while I storm through the house in Tempus mode every single day sniping down every family members I see in my way. I was determined that I hate the family I'm in and I was absolutely ready to leave if I had to. The talk I had with my counselor in med school helped A LOT.
I do not deny I have a bunch of good team mates for my PBL sessions, but I'd figure I love the veterinary medicine side more.

May: The month to invoke the Wesak spirit finally got me the courage to end the Vet-or-Med cycle once and for all. As blessed by my karma, I finally broke the barrier of my parents in looking the vet profession at a prejudice manner, allowing to reach my full potential as a veterinarian instead of a stuck up physician.

After settling one of the last hoo-ha as the leader of my group in Monash, I'm good to go. I left abruptly, while some actually noticed my disappearance, I've managed to make a quiet exit.

June: The month of most rambles, because of my withdrawal from med school I had to start participating actively in the family business due to the lack of manpower around the company. Driving duty and working hours were off the chart while I sulked every single day and night for the next september to come.

However, having a life outside of that by immersing myself in Japanese classes have also opened up new doors for me to interact with cross-cultural entities.

July: Back to the vet business, I've started to make my schedules packed with practicals to get back into the saddle, at the same time away from the crazy life of a company assistant and driver. Participating in these practicals made me even more determined to serve the animals and society as a veterinarian, and the path I've chose and stubborn on was absolute right for me. 

August: Turning 21 was supposed to be a big thing for the community like mine. But for me, it went by just like that. The planning was totally ad-hoc, and it wasn't really well-received by the family. I had no help, no aid, no suggestions, only complains and blames. Sucks to plan your own 21 birthday, without support from your family or friends. Thinking of the guest list itself was a migraine, but I'm relieved things just turn out right.

September: Stepping back into a familiar grounds, familiar face, a familiar smell of the hostel and faculty. I'd never once regret my decision. The course, the outcome, the career opportunity, the whole design of the profession, the management and the people. Helplessly involved in various activities of the university, I've became a mad machine upon entrance.

October: Venturing into a newer aspect of the university has opened up my views and perspective while dealing with people around. Being a member in Student Represent Council is no joke, but hopefully this have, and continue will enlighten in me various ways.

November: Putting up an annual large event is no joke, especially when you are one of the programmers. Looking out for juniors who can help, getting them to help out while you stress over the design and making of the backdrop of the game was a long, tiring task.

Yet, knowing that the same gang of friends who will be there for you all the time in needs, is a priceless feeling of gratitude.

December: I've managed to complete a lot in the whole year.

An enrichment program.

A dogathon program.

Getting elected as student rep.

Participate in a mural drawing.

Making trips to places.

Planned a Christmas event.

Overall, I've been through hell and heaven in 2012.

But 2012 have also taught me, when there's a strong will, karma will make its way out.

May 2013 be a blessed one for all sentient beings.

PS: Being a vet student made me a better Buddhist.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Buffetting : Official

It's also known as the Corporate Shirt in our university, when we need to put this on as a formal identity as a SRC member.

Pretty cool, but it also means more work.

Commitments oh well..

I totally should get back to finals.

Why domestication takes place? LALALALALA~~~

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Buffetting : Out of the bubble

Looking at some of BestBud's photos do hit me a lil hard on how he've gone far in living out of the previous bubble of his life.

He's been through a lot I would say, being in a foreign place with really troubling circumstances. But he got through anyway, and he enjoyed well to graduation so it's a good thing for him.

As I reflect to myself, I somehow have yet to live out a certain bubble.

Or have I?

Somehow I just feel like I'm still running away, but from what, and to what exactly?

I feel like I'm not being myself, at the same time I feel like I'm pretty much very occupied right now to think about doing stuffs other than work now.

Or I should just let time take its way in making a flow out of my current situation?

I've always thought I've finally got myself on track getting back to vet school, somehow I get into mazes one way or another.

Or this is just the way my life is?


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Buffetting : Christmas

I'd still remember the Christmas in 2011 was a dreadful one.

It was study week while I was dragged to the UniStud Singapore with the family, when I clearly was trying my best to stay as long as possible in the public university.

I succumbed, and went on. USS was so so, the rides were nice, but I wasn't fit for it then for Pete knows reasons.

The past Christmas in Singapore was boring, no presents, the lights around was sucky, going into H&M was just plain pointless, and all I was longing to is getting back to the hotel and sleep.

2012 was different, when the cousin decided to get a party on.

Had food, had present exchange, had gossips.

The exchanging session was fun, with me being the freaking spokesperson again.

But overall it was okay, at least I enjoyed it to some extend.

Except of the part of me being the bbq chef for 4 consecutive hours.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Buffetting : Neither World

Being brought up as the eldest son in a Chinese family has indeed molded me into a pretty fatherly figure to most of the people around me.

So as so to the extend I've become the typical "father" to most of the people I know around me.

I consider matters like a father would.

Take measures like a father would.

Heck, I even dress up like a father would. Except, not like mine.

I'm sure I've developed this father syndrome after Form 6, when I've had the taste of reality.

Things weren't as cream and sweet as they were portrayed in shows, and bad things hit you hard and nasty in your face by daily basis.

I've survived hardship in a very destructive manner.

Yet, somehow I still do wish to break free from just being the father figure.

True, I can be source of ideas and advices if people needs them.

But some how I'd just feel like I need someone I can too confide in instead of pulling everything into my vortex of nothingness.

And outing today somehow reflected on how my romantic relationships will go one from now:

Probably none.

I'm just too different to fit in neither world.

I guess I should put an earlier renouncement.

It does seemed to be a flee, but it's too also a relief.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Buffetting : Secrets

We all have them, and it takes a lot for us to reveal them to people.

Heart and Lady Boss was with me during lunch and we've discussed about how "down" they got during the hormonal time of the month, as well as farfetched thoughts can bring instant tears to them.

And we came to the point to decide if we want to share.

Everyone had their reasons to hold back, as for me, not the time.

Which is pretty true.

Dogathon is coming while committees are in. I can't afford to let smudgy relationships to incur right now. Not right now, AlexL.

Plus, I can always do this after the event, when my time spent with the others would be minimal.

So telling them then wouldn't be a huge impact, I hope.

But still, I don't think its necessary until I've found the one.

More secrets? Oh you betcha.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Buffetting : Sign

Finally had the last Friday to catch up with the girlfriend, Queen.

Somehow we managed to connect really well as fellow Leos, and time seemed to have no effect on us having fun thrashing the Japanese restaurant with our ruthless laughter and more than 3 hours stay.

Can you believe after a 3 somersault collision Queen still managed to survive with her Kelisa's mirrors and  glasses all broken? No scratches on faces, no flying out of the car even though without the seat belt.

All she had was a bruise and some broken glasses in the mouth after the collision.

After 4 incidents of accidents happened in my week, it was as if there's a sign somewhere trying to tell me to slow down in my driving, perhaps my own life before something happened.

Catching up was fun, especially on romance. Queen got involved for a very good period, short, but good. So and so she'd actually fell in love for real after her previous romantic experiences. But, it didn't turn out well either. She fell for him, but he left without a single note after all the promises.

And when Queen got her friends to finally dig this guy out, the answer was, "I was pitying her."

If I'd ever meet him, which Queen bet on he will beg for forgiveness because he's a man, I would splash his face saying that Queen's too good for him.

Then it was my turn, and Queen said I'd better invest time in looking for one soon. Her theory is that I'm too afraid, and still lives in my comfort zone of wanting to get a PS Vita, to be comfortable

At some point, maybe its true. I'm, still too afraid to step out.

What's more, I'm really occupied right now. Stepping out would mean more commitments than I already have, and if I'd ever have problems with the relationship I would go haywire and everything else would crumble.

Which brings me to an attempt yesterday which I shouldn't have make at all. It was a close call, but I couldn't imagine what the repercussions would be if I'd make further ones

I should have totally be in control instead of allowing my body to move by its own.

So many signs these days, and so confusing.

I'd wish I could tell everything, but I'm a hopeless all-in sucker.


Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Buffetting : When they come

Should totally be settling the rest of the chapters included for non-ruminant production Test 2.

Finish deciphering 3 chapters, but memorizing awaits. 4 more chapters to decipher.

Hatchability, heritability, fertile eggs, poultry welfare, different strains and breeds of chicken, whoa I love my course!

Until I have my next holiday not flooded with tests and responsibilities~

Monday, December 10, 2012

Buffetting : While it Lasts

Told the others how insecure I felt during the Muar trip.

How I wish I could have been more stronger last year.

Nevertheless, I have to be even stronger for the upcoming years, seeing myself losing in the midst of blur.
Shall immerse myself in non-stop gym activity and what not when the time I am with myself after semester 5.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Buffetting : Life Goes On

It's weird that when I got elected as the SRC, everyone assumes that I should be different.

But I beg to differ. I still enjoy going to events, collecting merits to stay in the residential college in the subsequent years, and I still do hang out with people.

I do need to devote time for the SRC work, but it doesn't mean I should not have other lives.

I may not be the most outstanding SRC among the board members of 45, but I can still be the one SRC whom people can get close to easily, even more among my faculty members.

The Light Festival in our college was awesome. Great performances, good games( I even won one) and most importantly great people. Everyone was so supportive of each other in the hall when the event proceeded, something which I'm very proud of as a Malaysian.

Had the experience to wear an oversized Jippa and Dothi while taking stunning pictures with my dear sisters donning themselves over glistening trinkets of the Indian heritage.

personally like this the most, cause i look okay in it haha~ and no, Heart and I are really close friends only.

After all, I'm not joining next year anyway. Moving out on the 3rd yr to have more time for myself!

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Buffetting : Inspiration

Have had the enrichment talk with the favorite lecturer yesterday while I get inspired by the way she handle things.

Daredevil style.

Because she knows her facts, she's got immunity, and whatever she does  its of the best interest for the animals, not herself or anyone else.

It's a good thing, because it really shows how there are still people care for animals not in a biased perspective or blindly.

Something which I think I need to learn with the situation I'm in right now. Sometimes I don't have the facts but I still do sound, which puts me in a compromising position. Therefore, stop, think and speak. Take my time.

As for the SRC, I began to learn to filter meetings because I personally feel my faculty needs my devotion more. It's a headache for my fellow mate in the other faculty as he holds a position in the top 5 while he needs to attend all these meetings, but seriously I'd rather not.

Although I wish to make something great out of my university life, I think Dogathon has it more than SRC.

If there's one final blow, I'd think I would just quit.

Crap, there's a thought.

Saturday, December 1, 2012

Buffetting : Enrichment

Day by day as we live our lives, we repeat our mundane lives.

Wake up, work,eat, sleep, shit and the cycle repeats itself.

Yet, in the midst of these, we indulge ourselves in random enrichment so we don't get too stressed, frustrated or robotacized in the whole process of the cycle.

That includes going for movies, exercising, making out, have a social life and all.

While I sit through the talk of one of my favorite lecturers on the Environmental Enrichment for Zoo animals, I was relieved that I stood strong on my choice.

Or else, I would be spending my weekends in libraries, social life, and what not instead of learning to fix harp traps and brainstorming on how to solve problems for the animals' welfare.

As the animals live their lives captivated in mimicked enclosures, they are not as easily deceived as the public thinks. They investigate, unravel, get bored and end up with bad behaviors causing psycho and physiological impact on their health.

I got into a group which is supposed to come up with an enrichment program for, Flamingos.

Oh great, with budget and time constraint, I guess Youtube and Google should be my best friend for the next whole week.

Worst part of the assignment, not nutritional enrichment. Meaning no enticement using food.

Great, I better get my tools very much noticed by the flamingos.