Sunday, July 20, 2014

Buffetting : Zero Connection

A drama series jolted my thoughts on this.

Do you have a connection with your parents?

The character in the series had a connection with his dad; culinary.

And when I flash back in to my family; every other sibling had.

But me.

The younger siblings had connection with the parents with sports.

The elder sister had connection with mom with work, and some family matters.

I some how, has zero.

I don't digg badminton matches or do good in the sports.

I don't wish to work in the family company; not wish to deal with the matters.

Sometimes, I just feel like I'm an alien in the family.

It's not like I don't care, I tried to participate.

Over the academic years I somehow managed to isolate and do what I needed to do; study and live my life.

After today's fiasco I feel that even more.

It was about the confinement lady for my sister who just gave birth and I was trying to ask questions.

Because of how the parents perceived the question, misunderstanding mine; they shot me down.

I'm done trying.

Literally. These days I just go home, do my thing, they ask questions I respond coldly.


Parents or not, somehow I just feel like I'm this disposal item in the family. When I'm back I do stuffs.

I'm only me, when I'm away from home.

2 more weeks, come on.

Friday, July 18, 2014

Buffetting : MBR

Great movie, seriously. 

It's just how things were to be different if only; if only everyone would just be accepting.

Long story short; it wasn't a happy ending.

But, the process was great. Every bits of it was something everyone wish to have in their relationship.

Love changes.

Love aches.

Love reciprocates.

but who knew, Love kills too.

Anyone who wants this can always get the soft-copy subbed from me!

quote: Love is not about courage. It's about to love; or not to love-- Golf. 

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Buffetting : Speedy recovery

So I thought it was; or is it?

Looking through another star whom seeming I though looked like T before; surprisingly the character of my name too; made me realize I am gradually getting over T.

I guess its a speedy recovery; considering it was my first relationship. Some horoscope posted it usually takes 1 year for a Leo to forget someone; I wonder which date it begins?

On another hand, another person whom I realized have been texting me in odd times texted me on the social media. It was someone whom I have acquainted to for some time.

Man I was desperate enough to do some background check before I continued our conversation; thinking that something might happen.

It turns out it was an invitation to some health talk.

Well, at this point I give up in trying to think something magical like T would happen again. Heck, miracle happens only once; not annually or every leap year.

I need to get out there and recompose myself.

Being together with T for that 9 short months tolled me on my subtle side of relationship and its irking me.

But wait, I'm grounded at home or in the company for the next 3 weeks while the rest of the semester break is spent on practical with the usual gang.

Great, distractions you can come and pester now.

Monday, July 14, 2014

Buffetting : Over-Capability

There was once I adore the help everyone came to me for my flairs for various matters.

But as of now, I feel like they become unnecessary burdens.

Ice Queen, Lady Boss as well as fellow blogger Calvin mentioned this:

You are too capable.

Which I find, not true to certain extent.

If I were to be that capable, wouldn't I be earning bucks now?

or am I too dependable?

To the point that, everything single stuffs in the house probably lie under my nose.

Domestic work is probably the one I'm extremely frustrated; inclusive of the Office work while my sis is on her confinement, its as if I'm this free dude in his semester break whom only mission in life is to please everyone else but myself.

Take today for example;

The whole day was spent in the office running errands in my Monday blue attire.

Before the day ends, I still have to become my sister's driver to get her back home and all.

I'd swear if I were not to insist I am heading for combat at night, my parents would ought to get me to do the tuition driving too; while my younger brother gets the benefit of doubt because he is now training for competitive badminton.

I am complaining, yes. Like, even after someone else who have gotten all the abilities to run the house; I still have to step in to fix everything else while he lives his happy life; I have to do all errands.

Double standard much?

If I were to say I wish to work in a clinic; my parents being cynical they have always been to me would say that:

" We are all working like dogs and you go and treat dogs. You siao ar?"

But, my younger brother and sister get to go to their badminton training while claimed to be some side career or what ever shit.

It's always double standard in my family. My elder sis finally freed herself after her marriage; but apparently I will stick like this forever.

Until I get myself too busy to give myself the benefit of the doubt too.

Being forged over the years to be handling multiple chores and matters; sometimes one would really ask whether if this is worth all the trouble. Especially right now.

Saturday, July 12, 2014

Buffetting : Small Ruminant Farm Practical Week 2 and 3

3 weeks passed by, somehow too fast yet too slow.

Fast because the people and environment were too conducive to learn:

1- I've learned to perform Artificial Insemination in goats. There is no way the university could have offered the chance to
2- I've learned to perform ultrasound pregnancy diagnosis on does with several indications, another chance the university probably wouldn't be able to offer.
3- I've also managed grab the chance to have my first horse-riding. Tiring, but it was certainly fun. Gives and idea on other riding opportunities*if you know what I mean*
4- People were nice, and veterinarian was extremely helpful and willingful to teach us all about small ruminant. Definitely have more to learn.

Slow because routine can be boring when the veterinarian is busy with office work, while we can't really do much with our limited knowledge,as well as access to treatments.

Ending the practical does tell me a few matters:

1- There is no way I will be in another practical with Gaga. Not a chance in hell. It's one thing if I were the only bitch, another when the whole group is definitely not into association.

2- Small ruminant IS a growing business; and an opportunity I would put serious thought about considering in my future investments. Large ruminant was what I intended, maybe it was the company; maybe it was the place. But this farm experience did cast a large impact on what I had in mind for my future farming prospects.

3- The original group I went with is still the most awesome group ever. Lady Boss, Ice Queen and Doraemi(named after her fanatic over Doraemon) were extremely nice and considerate in the whole practical. It was a blessing in disguise, and I'm surely looking forward for the upcoming 2 weeks practical with them.
managed to celebrate Ice Queen's 22nd Birthday with her family

Towards the end of the practical, I've managed to have some alone time with Lady Boss to talk about; plenty.

It has been a crazy academic year for both of us, and things began to change in various ways. We certainly have became extremely close in terms of friendship; and I truly appreciate the trust she lay on me about stuffs we discuss.

T left, and she certainly have dismissed the fact that T was pretty irresponsible for leaving me high and dry in the faithful Wesak.

But Lady Boss is an extremely nice person; and she still managed to light me up:


True enough. It would be easier if some things were different. But the cards have been dealt, I guess I just have to play my way to the end of the game.

Maybe after I graduate, maybe not. Some how, I feel like I am traumatized in a certain mild way in this territory of life.

Thursday, July 3, 2014

Buffetting : Ethics and Etiquette

As veterinary students, we have been advised and reminded constantly to be aware of what we say, what we do, what we preach and even what we post online in the social media.

In a few more years, I would be registered under a professional body and board. holding title of a Dr.

That title, bears not just the responsibility to the animals but social responsibility as well.

Somehow, there are juniors these days who lack the wisdom to filter the information which deems fit to be shared to the public; or purely  academical.

An example would be as follow:

The picture above shows me feeding a kid with a milk bottle; something which even laymen can do in farms and its not an extremely profession based skill. Of course, there are methods in restraining the kid, as well as techniques to prevent choking by the kid. Yet, its still something most laymen can relate well.

The following picture:

The picture above shows a crush to restrain a doe to raise its rear for us to perform Artificial Insemination. At this point, nothing gory; nor any needles or blood has been shown. The rear was merely raised, and the animal isn't in distress or unfit in anyway to be shown to the public However, if I were to put a picture of a vulva(vaginal opening) retracted with an AI gun injected into it, it would be deemed as an academical information. One which I would need to get the permission from the owner of the goat to disclose the information, because the technique, tools and animal might not be in a publicly fit condition to be shown. 

Others include surgical procedures or gory wound pictures.

This is something, at least I would press hard in keeping the right information to be deemed academic or publicly safe.
its okay to steal a nap whenever you can in our profession too!

It's the veterinary ethics and etiquette, which I truly hope some juniors would remember if you are reading, and be wise. Don't disgrace the veterinary profession.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

Buffetting : Small Ruminant Farm Practical Week 1

I stepped into the farm a few days later from the intended period due to a seminar held by the student affairs department for club presidents.

Well, I definitely have learned a lot in etiquette of dining in official dinners; but apart from that everything else was pretty redundant.

Stepping into the farm on Wednesday afternoon; the farm had a good vibe from its surrounding and the supporting staffs.

I officially began on Thursday, because it was already 5pm when I reached the farm in Wednesday. No thanks to Jung who kept me acquaintanced up till 3pm; or was it the other way round?

Mornings were pretty much the same everyday. We patrol the particular pent we are in charge of , faithful number 9 to see if there are any anomalies in the pent like:

1- weak kids
2- weak does
3- scabbies
4- coughs signing pneumonia

There were a few cases of labor death a week before we arrive so there is a bunch of kids which are being fostered , another bunch which only feed on milk replacers.

What we do is make sure the fostered kids get enough milk for the morning; or day by bringing them to foster does to suckle enough milk. Some does can be a pain in the ass for not allowing the kids to suckle because they are technically, not their offspring.

Milking the does seemed to be the funnest thing to do, especially when the teats are filled with milk and each squeeze brings down about 50ml of fresh goat milk.

Not like we can drink them off like that because they ain't pasteurized; plus the milk is for the kids.

Basically; mornings are pretty much nanny duties.

Only on the Saturday morning, we had a lot of fun handling a case of dystocia(difficulties in labor) The doe had a hard time pushing the kid out of her uterus, so we had to step in. Me being the one with largest hand couldn't do anything because the vulva of the doe was thatttt small. All I can do is aid in holding the doe in position while Lady Boss try her best in pulling out the kid from the shoulder. After 30 minutes of drama we managed to get the kid out, make it stand and keep it breathing because it stopped half way through. It was frantic, but certainly a great experience.

Fun stuffs come in the afternoon when the active vet have the time to be around us. Thursday was dull because the doctor had to attend to a course hosted by the farm.

On Friday, we get to look into the does which have been in the estrous synchronization program 17 days before to remove the CIDR-G(Coated Internal Drug Release for Goats). For laymen, estrous sync is a way for human to manipulate the estrous(similar to menstrual cycle in human) cycle in the animals to achieve a controlled time of ovulation in a herd of animals. It's an economical way for better records, herd health, herd uniformity for feed providence, and even manageable inseminating practice.

The does with CIDR-G removed are given injections of Pregnant Mare Serum Gonadotrophin(PMSG) to induce ovulation, which usually takes 48 hours for effect. Meaning, Artificial Insemination is best done on Sunday.

On Saturday, we looked into the kids and does in pent 9 to see if there are treatments to be given;
1- weak calves are given vitamins and calcium to boost their strength biochemically.
2- weak does are given vitamins and calcium also to boost strength; antibiotics if there are signs of exudative mucus while NSAIDs are given if they show signs of pain and lameness in their joints and hoofs.
3-Scabbies are treated with Ivermectin according to the weight of the animals.
4- Pneumonia suspected cases are treated with higher strength antibiotics like oxytetracycline.

Over the hour before we end our shifts, we had a session with another vet on the AI program. It gave us a brief outline on what we will do on the next session; encompassing the different methods of estrous synchronization; the methods of artificial insemination; the duration differences and success rates of AI. It was insightful because we only have been exposed to a high cases of cattle AI, practice in goats was really the first and once in a blue moon case. Even the active vet said it has been a while since the last AI.

On Sunday, we finally made it into the pent we have removed the CIDR-G from on Friday. AI in goats is different from cattle in many ways:

1- In cattle, crushes are used in which the cattle is sent into a confined space where it can literally, not move. The handlers go to its rear to mend it AI with minimal effort needed to restrain the cattle since the space itself would do the job. In goats, a restrainer is used like an elevated bar to fix the hind legs of the goat, raising its rear while a restrainer will handle the goat by holding it on to place with the body close to the goat's back close to the restrainer. As this is done well, the goat will have its vulva exposed to the person manning the AI.

2- In cattle, AI begins with rectal palpation in which the handler needs to clean the rectum of the cattle, and then stuff the hand into the rectum in order to feel the cervix. The digestive tract of the animal is right above to the reproductive tract, hence the cervix will be palpable by feeling the bottom wall of the rectum when a hard tubing is being felt. In goats, rectal palpation is not possible because of the size of the goat itself being small. Instead, speculum; a duck beak shaped apparatus is being used to retract the vulva and vagina of the goat in order to expose the cervix to the handler. In goats on heat, the cervix will show red flush, and cherry red mass of flesh when exposed using the speculum. Once the handler sees that, cuing of the sperm prep handler can be prompted.

3- In cattle, AI without visual aid requires the palpation of the AI-gun into the cervix of the cattle completely based on experience and feel of the handler of the AI-gun entry. Something which I have yet to master, and need to because chances are so rare. In goat, AI aided with speculum and pen-light gives a good visual of the cervix view, and AI-gun can be inserted into the cervix ridges. There are 3 stages of gun insertion:
a- intravaginal, when the cervix is not opened up large enough to allow smooth gun entry
b- intracervical, when the cervix is opened, but not deep enough for the complete gun entry pass the cervix.
c-transcervical, when the cervix is opened wide enough for the maximal entry of the gun into the uterine cavity.

Insemination depth stages can be gauged by the depth of the gun entry into the speculum by a standard.

Success rate of the AI without visual aid or laparoscope is 60%, with laparoscope can be increased to 80%, but a higher number of apparatus and man power and skill is needed.

Performing AI on goats, an extremely rare experience has gave me a certain enlightenment :

1- Like all cervix, everyone is different in the inside. What we can do is manipulate our way into their lives.
2- Like all cervix, not everyone is that easily entered; or even can be entered. For those, we really don't need to bother
3- Like all cervix, everyone has a depth which they allow entrance. Some allows maximal, some only allow partial; while some none. Cherish those with maximal, be nice to those with partial, let none go.

Time to wait for the babies to conceive!

Friday, June 27, 2014

Buffetting : Drama in the farm

So we didn't want to actually be on the same group in our 2nd farm practical with a particular girl, Gaga.

Or  at least, I didn't.

I'm a dude who is really cool with girls, REALLY.

I can be your sister, brother, father,husband, temporary boyfriend; you name it I can jam it.

Until, you step on the wrong line.

Our last farm practical with her, wasn't particular pleasant to me.

Everything was chillax until the transport issue came in.

Look, we are friends, if we are THAT close, one would know some decency around me.

If we AREN'T that close, more decency would be expected.

What she did was, she wasn't intelligent enough to settle the transport issue with her family without me driving or around. How insulted one would feel when she was the one actually asking for help, and all 4 other person had to accommodate her ways?

If you come from a single child family; deal with working around people and compromise.

What she did, was when we have decided to use route A; she talked to her family as if we forced it on her when the plan didn't work out for her liking. Look, there are 4 of us against you; we are nice enough to send you to the doorstep of your boyfriends' house. The least you could do is tell your family it is fine, we will use route A and I will be fine.

And talking on the phone about my driving while I was driving? NO.

So that was the previous practical; we made it a point to avoid being in the same group with her for this current practical at ALL cost.
milk time~ 

But it happened.

So today, Gaga, to my dismay decided to go back home again. From my understanding, the sole reason she chose this farm is so that she can go home on weekends.

I was like, screw you bitch. Practical time, stay in the farm and do what others do. If you wanna do what you like, you ain't gonna be on my parade.

Anyway, so tonight she's decided to go home, with her mom.

As we are trying to build good rapport with the vet, we were discussing when to bring her out. So we were talking and thinking that tonight may be the best time.

G: So when are you bringing the doctor out?

T: I was thinking of today. Since you will be out with the family and the car will be lighter, it would even be easier for the Dr to fit into my car.

*awkward silence while the other girls stared at me with disbelief*

I was, blunt. That was what I meant literally.

With people I don't care of, I really just snipe.

The girls thought I was too blunt; you?

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Buffetting : Course Taken on Sem 6

So in this cycle of the semester I took up 7 subjects in the university, summing up to about 23 credit hours including an extra 2 credit hours of mural farm practice.

6th Semester, gosh I have another 6 more to go before I get declared as a Dr.

Imagine your name announced across events or even the airport with the title Dr! Not going to end there, I will probably end up with a doctorate too.

Semester 6 has been, well, steady. I finally had more time for myself'; although the first half of it was literally more skewed towards someone else, but later on it skewed back to myself. It was an over-noon skew so I would call it a wham instead.

1- Veterinary Anatomy 3
The last part of the veterinary anatomy trilogy. This semester wasn't the hardest, but the whackiest semester of all anatomy. Learning reproduction with a table of ladies wasn't easy; I had to keep my subtle use of terms and intonations over the 3 hours to keep things fun and heated at the same time. We covered pretty much all the sense; but reproduction was definitely the best one in the bunch

2- Veterinary Physiology 3
Running parallel to the course above as another trilogy; the semester ended with literally STRESS. Taught by my idol lecturer, and a few more others along the way, physiology definitely made anatomy some sense. Or is it the other way round? Nevertheless, I would still have to argue I enjoyed the topics on hormones the most; although I'm more fascinated by the physiology of cows in particular. 

3- Veterinary Pathology 3
Another trilogy begins with learning on what goes WRONG in the system now. New terms on lesions- meaning to describe wounds has been taught while we learn to make intelligent diagnosis on causes of deaths in animals or even human. Being the course representative it somehow made me felt obligated to score in this subject; although I kinda just brushed my way through hoping just for an A over higher grades.

4- Bacteriology and Mycology
4 credit hour-ed course spanning over important disease causing bacteria and fungi in animals; not to mention a numerous numbers which are zoonotic and important in public health- meaning it can spread to human. Apparently we don't just serve animals; we do serve humans too. After all, we veterinarians are the closest reservoir to these zoonotic diseases. I do enjoy learning the course especially labs because we get to see different things and know different methods in discovering new bacteria. When you manage to see the whole picture, all the lines connect and it just startle you on how far human have traveled to get to this point in science. The reason to hate this subject: never-ending memorizing of bacteria.

5- Feed and Feeding
A very similar course to the veterinary nutrition  we had back in 1st year. Yet, this one is much more extensive of the types of feed we have in Malaysia; where do they come from; processing relevance; ensilaging requirements; alternative feed; and animals' feeding regime. It is extremely helpful because we would know what kind of diet to put the animal in during different periods of their life. And example would be a well formulated diet for a cow throughout her period of milking, getting pregnant, stopping of milking, and days before parturition(she gets into labor). This diet will prevent problems like emaciation, weakness, lethargy or death to the cow and the calf. The course was bland, but I could relate to it well

6- Business English
Just to fulfill my two courses of English requirement by the university, the first one being Public Speaking and now the 2nd and last one. Well I didn't learn as much as I thought I would from this course, but its really something to make all of us to get an easy A. I did learn some skills on business writing; not to mention being the director for the Networking Day(pretty much a party) again. Mingling with people outside Vet Fac still awes me on, everyone seemed to pick on me a lot in doing tasks like leading or what not. I'm pretty sure my body size and height totally put me on the lime light to some extent, but really, I wonder what people see in me. BUT, meeting people outside of the faculty once in a while is still fun.

7- Extra Mural Farm Practice
Last, but definitely not the least. I've been through 3 weeks of poultry practical; now to look forward to another 3 weeks of ruminants and 2 weeks of wildlife! The girls I'm going to be with are so fun, I don't think I would want to go home! Wait, maybe I do. Just for the air-conditioner!

So that pretty much sums up the academic courses I've been through for the past 17 weeks; including the semester break and examination weeks. I'm now going into 3rd, paraclinical year.

New subjects.
New timetable.
New club.
New visions.
New expectations.
New set of lecturers.

I should make some changes. Not holding phone during lectures would be a good way to start. Since I'm no longer attached nor responsible for anything else(maybe the equestrian club); I could use some time off to focus.

PS: Naively thinking that I would have let myself off the bandwagon of student activities,my senior was totally right on me being really ambitious and nuts for taking up the job as the President of the Equestrian Club. It wasn't the knowledge or skill to begin with; it was the time to coordinate and present more and more paperwork. 

Yay me. The person who can never keep himself free for himself.

Saturday, June 21, 2014

Buffetting : Not that world

Sometimes, it just seemed like, I don't belong to that world.

My thoughts, my dreams, my perceptions; do not run parallel to what IS.

It's okay Tempus.

You don't belong to that world.

Just continue to live on the current one; and hopefully in the near future you get to live in another.


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