Buffetting : Another random rant.

It's just so funny a status update can really bother you within minutes.

As mentioned before I should never feel exclusive.

親友のステータスを見る限り、自分が本当の失敗者だなあと思ってる。

僕、マジに、誰とも繋げないよなあ。

まったく。

 Fuck this shit. I'm done.

Buffetting : What does it mean?

So we had Monkey's birthday celebration the other night after the class party.

Apparently 108 people can whip things up very easily within 24 hours to set a party for a 108 people. The power of unity, seriously.

Post-party, we Vet-souls have our own little party of ourselves.

It's not like Monkey didn't see it coming because he would have left if he didn't know.

The routine includes slamming watermelon skin into each others' faces and heads; in which everyone in the field became target except for me.

Lady Boss asked him to dump it into my face, and me being all smoked up and yet to shower for the night was well prepared for the dump.

Except when Monkey decided not to and said:

"Everyone and anyone except for Bos. Bos, cannot."

I'm not too sure how to interpret that though, after all these while knowing him.

The possibilities?

1- I'm still a stranger.
2- I'm being imprinted as the dominant male not to be challenged since orientation.
3- I give the vibe that no one else should temper me.

I wonder. Am I a stranger?


Side note, study week coming to an end and I still have yet to complete any subjects. Back to lymph node centers and the parts they drain then~

Buffetting : Long or Short term

In the midst of cytokine studies Boey dropped in a message speaking on the particular person he have in mind.

With the lack of maturity and responsibility, I just don't see how he can handle a relationship, let alone the person he mentioned. He is way out of his league, even by the basics.

In the midst of me judging him and the person, we came into how we perceive relationships.

He says we get to know the person after we get involved.

I say we get to know the person well enough to convince both of us that we should get together before we get involved.

He says we should treat relationships to be experimental at all levels, and we should never assume them to be long lasting.

I say we should first acknowledge that the relationship will be long lasting so and so we actually will commit while not just letting the relationship goes into kaputt before any solutions proposed.

I don't know, I'm probably a safe person.

But I know one thing for sure. I look for long term.

Buffetting : Nutritional Night

The night was spent with nutrition of different farm animals, not to mention laboratory ones too.

Until tomorrow with more nutritional facts and notes.

Buffetting : Ending a Semester, etc

The semester ended on its last academic related matters with my last co-curriculum session under the Swimming Basics course's Mega Project-- Including water polo, treasure hunting and battleship. We all know how it went.

The best thing about the whole session is getting to know people. With the university's policy on single sex grouping for sports as revealing as swimming, we ought to stick to male in my course.

The dudes up there are from 3 different courses, 3 different background. What makes me feel that relationships are awesome because they can actually be built within minutes if we work on it. Something I feel I have not being doing these days.

Upkeeping relations however, is a totally different game.

 So wrapping up the courses that I have been taking this semester:

Veterinary Anatomy 1:

Histology was so so until I get my hands on the microscope. Straining on the eyes, but getting to know stuffs were satisfying. Same goes to gross anatomy dissection. Exploration was fun, but ultimately it is tiring. Can't imagine myself performing surgeries in the future just yet.

Veterinary Physiology 1:

 

With STPM basics, physiology wasn't particularly hard to score. Something I find really important in the parallel course of learning about anatomy. That is why  both courses are linearly programmed so we get the best of both worlds as one.

3- Veterinary Nutrition

A course that I would have enjoyed if I don't have my hands full. The intensive amount of knowledge required to know all the different components of feed, requirements, repercussions and phases ain't no joke. I guess I should make full use of my study week.

4- Veterinary Ethics and Jurisprudence

 

Need I say more? I totally adored this subject, and the first lecturer who focused on the Veterinary Surgeon's Act, code of ethics, and the different acts on Poisons, Feed, Food, Pesticides and Animal; took my breath away with his brilliance in that subject. Apparently he is brilliant in every subject he ventured into.

I guess I liked this subject more because I loved debating and exploring all possible options in a scenario? And prolly the fact that I always scored in the subject.


5- ICT
One subject that I feel its not absolutely necessary in our curriculum, but I still did my best to get the knowledge out of the computer technology realm. Although I might not adore the idea of full time html programming, but knowing that I can make wonders with codes is still delightful.



As the semester ends, I feel like my time is too, almost up.

The time for me to be with my current batch mates, and the time for me to start bracing myself to walk the rest of the path with a stronger will than ever; the will to walk alone.

So and so that I was talking with the elder sister about the mom on how I care more about finals that my mom. Apparently there's a phone issue but no one else but I have to settle it. I'm having my finals from 10th to 23 June, when I'm also leaving for practical on 23rd itself.

The sis stressed that I should invest at least a bit of time to get the phone issue settled, in the midst of my finals. and my finals are now less important than the stupid phone?

My sis's version: My mom is less important than my finals.

Seriously.

And the other day I had a long chat with the Best Bud on several issues.

One particularly hit me, exclusivity.

Yes, apparently we should never see ourselves as exclusive ones; be in romance or friendship.

I guess I should really step back and look around, on the places and fields I wish to venture, and the people with it. At some point of my life, I'm really tired to maintaining relationships. The balance thing, is pretty hard to attain when the mind is playing with your thoughts.

I just feel absolutely miserable right now. As an old acquaintance have pointed I might just be emotionally constipated, and I'm probably am.

I can no longer seek another person to confiding in matters, simply because I'm just too damn tired of playing the dodge games, or being considerate or me trying to open up and what not.

I just can't. The contacts in the smartphone apparently deemed no good, and blogging still remains as the best place to confide.

I should just do this, its the best anyway.

What a way to end a semester.

Back to sea of delocalized notes. Making love with the veterinary knowledge should do me some good.

Buffetting : Desiderata

One thing I'm yearning for now, is to go back to my first semester in vet school, and make it all my might to change my parents'; or mostly my mother's thought.

I would have been a much different person.

cf.desiderata- unbecoming.

Buffetting : Repercussion

So I did something out of the norm today noticed by one of the girl friends today.

Something which might fire back with repercussions, or it might just be something for me to start opening up more about things I've wished to talked about to the girls.

I'm an adult, and action comes with consequences.

No use crying over spilled milk, what I hope is this doesn't change her values on my personalities.

Hey, I'm human too.

What am I talking about exactly?

Nothing big, I hope.

Buffetting : Seriously

Seriously, I thought this semester was going to be the last one I need to be added into different groups influencing different circles

Seriously, I thought it was going to end next sem when I'm going to be a free man free from commitments.

Seriously, I was really looking forward to next semester.

Seriously;

I have been added to 10 different groups overnight because I'm the freaking VP for my university's chinese cultural association!

Somebody SAVE ME!

Buffetting : Living it

Did I mention how much I love my course and what I'm doing, and about to do?

It's like physics, chemistry, biology, economics and management all synced up into one single course.

I'm a farmer, a veterinarian, economists, and also a manager if I really wish to do so!

I used to love machinery until physics bore me, but I now learn to love it back. Chemistry and lab work has always fascinated me so the research part on the biology have been gunned down. Anatomy and physiology has never been more fun when different animals come into the picture, and a chance to own a dairy farm; it's life.

Time to persevere and get back to assignments!

Buffetting : Focus or Segregate

I've came across 2 different scenarios in 2 different days, leading to my choice and judgment between being focused or segregating my thoughts in different matters.

I'm now holding 3 different portfolios for 3 different organizations, 2 which I will soon step down but one for a long way to go.

One of the previous board exco mentioned that he chose to focus on a single task and make the best out of it.

选最重要的作，把最重要的作好。

I wish I could.

But catching up with the best bud made me realized that, if I were to be focused, I really missed out a lot.

I really did missed out, A LOT.

I sometimes can't believe I'd actually lived with that. Did I really take advantage of the whole relationship? And after next semester hits, when Dogathon is finally over and I am no longer attached to the senior batch; will I too take advantage of the empty schedule and not spend time with them anymore?

I think about all these a lot, and they really worry me. I need to seek balance from academics, experiences, relations, health and self-improvement.

I know life is all about juggling these, but I'd just wish I had someone to talk about these, at least someone who is close enough around to understand and see what I'm actually going through.

It's another rant, but to focus or segregate? It's a tough one.