Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Buffetting : Residential College

So one of my seniors was blogging about her ineligibility of retaining her stay in the college.

Our college, namely Kolej(College) 17/K17, is the 17th residential college built under the wings of UPM.

So by standard and years, its the latest and of course the newest around.

Heck it has the best residential set up yet!

I think I did mention before, but this post is dedicated for it.

Divided into 4 blocks from A to D, where guys are situated in the D block, and parts of C.

The others, female.

It's like 75% of the population is infested with girls. Gosh, HUGE difference.

Though some of my friends actually stated that:

"Wow its good! The ratio is 3:1, so you literally have NO competition for girls!"

Ugh, spoken like a true stud, Monkey.

Anyway, back to residential set up.

A block constitutes of 4 levels, and each blocks probably have 4 to 6 different wings.

So practically there's 24 vacant units, I think. Probably more. I'd never really take a good count of the number of units.

Anyway, lets go to the units, that's the best part anyway!

Each unit consists of 4 bed rooms, 1 living room and 1 bathroom with 2 showers and 2 toilets, with 1 of the cubicles combined with both shower and toilet. Hence, 3 cubicles. Oh, lets not forget the "oh-I'd-never-used-it-before" balcony, because I travel back home once every week, so laundries at home~

So 4 bed rooms, each bed room is only shared by 2 occupants only.

No overcrowding in a room.

No common bathroom*gosh that sucks to the max!*

No other races, so outings and food settled.

No other courses, making the vets even more sub-culture than they have been.

I mean, how can you NOT love the residential college?! It's prolly the best in the whole Penisular Malaysia!

So those were the plus points, now the headaches.

You are lucky when the wind hits, and the rain falls. Without it the whole unit is as stuffy as an oven with baked turkey breast in there. Unless you stay closer by the woods, where its more cooling, but more susceptible to BUGS.
WEIRD. Googled for HOT and these picture kept on popping. What happened to the literal adjective?

You are lucky you had a hot day, or you will be frozen to icicles, shivering your way in the shower when there's NO HOT WATER. But I think I can live with that. What I can't, is the occasional water shortage for Pete knows reasons. However, the pressure, its orgasmic.

You are lucky when you are pretty much immune to dengue causing mosquito bites. Our college has been labelled as the college with HIGHEST rate of dengue fever. Probably because we are so close to the Serdang Hospital, we are within walks away when we are half dead. So far I was fine from the dengue, but I had a serious case of food poisoning from the famous Old Flat.Should stick to homecook stuffs.
You are lucky if you are able to sneak in pots and electrical cooking appliances to cook for yourself, and heck even to prepare instant cup noodles. The water boiler given was like so low in its AMP, we had to wait for hours to allow it to boil, for 8 humans. The college have strict no cooking or extra voltage costing electrical appliances, but owh well we know our ways out.

You are lucky to get a car sticker to obtain free parking in the college, or you have to prepare for the wrath of the medicine faculty's rocky(literally) parking. I'm making my way in by some application, hopefully everything goes smoothly.

There are matters revolving the college which I have yet to unravel, and due to lack of time (and sleep *yawn*) I shall postpone in to another post.

PS: The merit system governs the number of occupants in the residential. All occupants are required to attain a certain number of merit ie: freshman (>40), sophomore and above(>60) . The more, the better as competition is really harsh. Getting merely 40 may not even secure you a spot. The ways to obtain merits are of different, you can participate in college activities such as drawings, events, heck even spelling bees to obtain merits. University activities such as Festival Activities, Informative Exhibitions or Sports may come with merits. As for faculty, we have Vet Sports, Dogathon and neutering projects which provides merits also.

Honestly speaking, one should be able to attain the merits for continuous residential eligibility. Though some courses are really taxing, students find it hard to attain adequate merits to sustain their rights. Like the one I've mentioned.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Buffetting: Attention please?

I've gotten feedback from coursemates of 2 different course and 2 different university, with 2 different culture.

Apparently there's one thing in common.

People from both sides have claimed that I'm a VERY noticeable "figure".

Reason being:

1) You are huge and tall and big. You are way too hard to miss.

2) You sit in the front seat, like the 1st freaking row with your legs wide opened in every lectures.

3) You answer the lecturer's question all the time

*WHAT???!!! I don't even remember half of the things I learned in Monash!*

Conclusion: You are too hard to miss and not to get all the attention.

Wait, seriously. I did not do all these to get the attention okay?

Though I do have some attention seeking trait in me, but what I was told on how I'd actually got it, totally out of my expectations.

Geez, and I was determined to lay low in Monash so I don't get attached, which I didn't, thank goodness.

Side note: Finally submitted the Monash withdrawal form! No longer a Monashian, an UPMian from now on!

So am I REALLY that of an obvious figure?

Hmm, better start beware of what I do in university these days.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Buffetting : Grammar Nazi

I have this tendency to correct people's grammar( at least English ones) when I find it wrong, to me at least.

Although not all attempts were right, I would say 90% of the attempts was on the right track.

So its kind of a personal grudge, or whatever they call it, that I have for this particular cousin from my paternal side.

He was the kinda boastful typo, saying that

"Oh I'm good in chemistry, so I took up Chem Engineering."

And later on he swapped to ACCA claiming that the education  quality in the engineering school sucked.

"Oh I have a backup plan, something which I even better in! Accounting!"

And later on he swapper to Bachelor of Accounting and Finance, after several fails of his papers in ACCA.

So much for being good are we? At least  I tried to maintain my standard of results throughout my course of studies.

I remembered so clearly that he said ACCA has a much higher fail rate than med schools.

Please, I took STPM. Take it and then talk to me. Period.

And there's so much to do with his active participation is various, so to speak "Social Networking" like being a blogger, a photographer for events*to earn bucks* and all the stuffs.

And your primary role as a student to at least pass your exams? "My dad paying wart."

Ok so back to my grammar Nazi mode when I read his blog:

1) introduced the brand new iPad interactive menu which is much more convenient and easy operate for the customer.

Me: easy TO operate

2)  This newly added dishes compromises fresh servings of prawns, tuna flakes and snow crab legs in it.

I wonder how dishes compromise-s themselves?

Me: comprise, without the S

3)  It’s a truly refreshing dishes 

 Me: There's only It, not They. So its a DISH only.

4) the soft shell crab meat were sweet in taste and goes well with the sushi rice and spicy mayonnaise.

Make up your freakin mind. It's a singular or plural???!!!

5)  I always have the impression that Japanese curry was much more salty and sweet than the local one. This curry udon were much more mild in taste and rich in aroma.

Me: I have always HAD the impression; much saltier and sweeter; curry udon WAS.

Can you imagine the number of times I'd actually rolled my eyes reading this "food REVIEW"

Please, don't embarrass yourself in the public with your petty grammatical errors, and claiming that you do great reviews.

I'm a bitch aren't I?

Taking it personal? Oh I totally am. 

Don't you even dare to boast in front of my family members, because I'm going to take you down with all I can.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Buffetting : Person to talk to

You know people tend to find other people to talk to, about just ANYTHING.

As for me, well, so far I do talk to people I know about problems, underlying problems. But that's because I just need to throw my problems out.

Other than that, everything goes back into the lil drawer in my mind.

And so somehow I became the key to other people's drawer, unknowingly.

It was just 12 weeks in Monash, and people do start telling me stories.

Practically about anything. Sometimes the topics just caught me off guard.

It ranges from girls talking about homosexuality and guys talking about how to date girls, the dad's friend has gotten HIV and the brother is in love with Chris Evans.

Some even asked me how they'd looked in their new outfit.


But then again, this was a comment I got from one of my coursemates in Monash, which I'm totally flattered:

"I find you much easier to talk to than *beep*. *Beep* sometimes just give me some weird vibes."

Wow, that's a real breathtaking compliment. I mean, being able to let someone else to lose their guard on you to tell you everything is pretty much a big thing to do. I know I don't just lay down my guard easily.

And I do welcome people to talk to me, and I've really learned to just listen and give cohesive replies to let people to talk more.

It just stroke me when one of my coursemate just PMed me and wondered where on earth did I disappear to. I didn't attend university for the past week because the mom needs lotsa help in the company.

Since I won't be continuing my studies in Monash anymore, why bother attending right? I did want to attend some pharmacology classes, but work calls.

So he actually noticed my absence. I guess I am that obvious after all.

Delusion, that part of me never changed since Taylors I guess.

I guess somehow I'm meant to take up roles as psychiatrist or psychologists by nature.

Yet, I think I will go for allowing animals to open up their hearts to the cruel cruel human population.

Friday, May 18, 2012

Buffetting : Judging

We judge people. That's our nature.

Unless you have already achieved the highest state of mindfulness, and you see nothing but the reality, without judging.

We judge people by their looks, size, skin color, food taken,sexuality, jobs, courses, and so much more.

And today before Combat when I was getting the dog food, I accidentally spotted a familiar figure.

Ah the instructor.

Wait, there's something else which is not right.

Oh, smoker.

Bummer. It's like instantly my respect level for him just dropped for 9 to like, 3.

I kept on questioning why did he even choose to smoke?

There's so much other stuffs to go to when you are frustrated than SMOKE. Workout!





But smoke? You can do better than that.

It have been instilled in me that, smoking is not good. Definitely a no no for any  future mate of mine to seek refuge in smoking, drugs or alcohol. Alcohol are for fun times, not when you are down.

The least you could do is to stay sane when you are down without alcohol to cloud your head.

So back to the instructor. Well, I still enjoyed his class.

And later on after the class, I've decided to wipe it off my head. Smoker or not, its not like we are going to be close friends or something.

As long as he instructs well, its fine I guess.

The first step into adulthood, professionalism line drawing.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Buffetting : Absolute

I find myself really radical these days.

Almost everything should be absolute.

For example would be the decision of me ditching medicine for vet.

Before I reached mutual agreement with my mom, I had these extreme thoughts:

1- Complete abandonment of my familial ties
2- Complete disowning of my parents on me
3- Complete shift in lifestyle, including of self-supporting work and adult-university life.

Thanks Ms Carol for identifying that for me.

It is down right extreme I know, but then again, somehow its in my nature.

I've somewhat grew to not learn to compromise, in which most situations I could, in which I used to do.

And today, I pull out another stint to complete disattachment from my current medical student life.

1- Leaving the groups in my PBL and the 2012 Med group in FB.
2- Complete deletion of Grey's Anatomy.
Whoa, don't have to go that for to fix that man.

somehow Grey's seemed so trivial and shallow after I've enrolled in medicine, and after I've decided to venture into vet.

Okay Grey fans don't hate me. Loved the drama, but not the reason for me to enroll into a med school. Kids out there, think a million times before you've decided to enroll.

Do you think I'm an extremist by doing these?

Somehow I think it helps me to move on to next phases of my life, easier and faster.

No attachment.

Ooh, a stud material. Yea I think I will become one some day.

Lets hope that doesn't happen shall we?

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Saturday, May 12, 2012

Buffetting : End of Vet or Med

So its officially over. My struggle for the past 10 weeks have now been put to an end.

Vet or Med forever?

It ends today.

It ended on Monday technically, but I will announce May 13th 2012 as the official day of Vet OVER Med.

*Confetti Canons and Applause plus Cheers(VET VET VET!)*

It was a long fight, long struggle, and a long conflict.

Honestly if this didn't end this way, I would probably be enemies for life with my mom.

Yes she loves me a lot, spends a lot on me, gave me education, send me to facial appointments, lotsa other stuffs. But this really meant the MOST to me.

Understanding my point of view,and accepting what I really want. Geez, I hope when time comes things will change for another kind of matter, but that's for another post.

What changed her mind? Hmm, I think the Wesak spirit inspired me a lot.

Honestly when I handed over the letter on Wesak morning, the res of the day(half of it) I'd just gave it up to faith in my words. I didn't bother to think about it, I just worked my way off Wesak volunteering in SJBA, another place I seek refuge in a lot.

Until after lunch, when I finished my shift in the F&B division, and when the parents showed up and talked to my best bud's mom, Auntie Lam.

All hell broke loose when she told me my mum wasn't really keen, and was quite upset talking about me. Instantly I felt stress showering me, and the whole HEP thing kicked it. It was horrible, its like I have totally no idea what to do.

It was as if I was asked to either jump from a cliff and hope that gravity somehow fails, or gravity works and I become what I become.

I was like a totally different person from morning, and I just sat down there and holding my tears back from breaking down. Thank goodness my other best bud Monkey was there holding me on. Thanks Jia Wei, you know we fight a lot, but we somehow got too much in common to not be best buds XD You know I love you la.

Although his suggestions were, like kinda useless, but they were helpful there and then.

Till Auntie Lam introduced me to the Seafield headmistress, whom I forgot the name but I dang very well remembers your face! The talk was brief, but it was the ultimate solution.

I never wanted to get Dad involved in this, but she said,

"If anyone's to know how to deal with your mom, its your dad. He did it for the pat years, and he can do it now. I'm a woman, I know how this works."

Speaking like an American woman. She's a Buddhist by the way.

Her daughter is a working MD now in UK, struggling, but working to her specializing in 5 years time? When she is 35. Great. Good luck. My metta for you.

So the conversation ended abruptly, and I called dad instantly to have a Dad-Son talk which I NEVER had before to get things settled.

Wow, I certainly took plenty of steps, a long way to get to Vet school, I better nail this piece of mozzarella.

Going against my mom, Spending one sem in Msia's so-to-speak best Med school, Dad-Son talk.

This is like THE turning point, like I've repeated so many times, of my life.

The thing went on for a few days, from Wesak Friday to this Monday. I was literally sending Metta every single night just to get this right. Its so funny and pathetic that, I only seek refuge in the Dhamma on occasions that I'm totally lost. I guess I too take the Dhamma for granted.

It took me for like 1 hour to gather my courage and talk to my mom on Monday night. Seriously, I have not been this restless before. In interviews I know I can pull things off, easily. This was worse than any interviews I've been before.

This was more like a court case, to me.

After a 30 minutes of deliberation, mom gave in, and said,

"Do whatever you want. You are 21 soon, you decide what you become."

It was like a instant relief, and the barrier between me and Mom instantly shattered. Our conversation after the minute she said what she said was totally different, and was lightened up.

Thank you mom. I promise I will work dang hard to be the best vet around.

As for now, I'm living my last bits of med school slowly. But there's not much attachment, I can see myself pulling away from most of the entities in Monash soon. It wasn't really hard. In fact I am dying to live away from that place, considering how everything was over-rated somehow. Heck we don't even have enough lecture theaters.

Vet or Med? Veterinary Medicine please. At least I'm doing both.

PS: Happy Mother's Day to mothers out there. If your children know what they are doing, just give them your support.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Buffetting : Letter to Mom.


Dear mom,
               I’m sorry I had to use this measure to break it out to you. It’s because I’m really afraid of talking this matter with you right now. It has been 9 weeks since I’ve enrolled in Monash, and it was a hefty amount of RM45000 that you have paid for my fees.I’ve learned a lot here, about diseases, things related to human health, how to fix them, and stuffs like that. I’ve also learnt that, being a human medical associate means to sacrifice a lot into practicing medicine. I will need to devote my time for the knowledge, devote my time for the skills, devote my life for other people’s life, and my health for other people’s  health.

               It would be something I’d love to do, back then. But after what I have been through in A levels, then STPM, and then UPM, then Monash, I don’t think I have the affinity to do these anymore. I do not want to live a life, which requires me to stick in for the career all the time. I do not wish to live in the life which I do not have affinity or passion for it anymore. Let’s take now for an example. I’m studying medicine, not because I have passion for it, because I was asked to. Later on in life, I will need to treat people, and its because I was asked to, again. Take note of how severe it is when someone is actually “asked” to do something. It did not come out as what I WANT to do, its because somebody ASKED me. This is not a good sign to have for a life career. Many will argue I can do something else after I’ve completed 5 years of medical education. But, is that worth your money? It is not. If I were to become medical equipment dealer, I might as well take up business. You said I can take up medicine, then traditional chinese medicine, and then open up a clinic. But, clinic is not what I want to have. At least, not JUST clinic.

You may think I’m being childish, immature, and all the negative words you can describe me because I do not want to take up medicine.  You dream of a life where I get consultations by patients after I specialized, then lead a good life. But are you certain that is the life I have ever wanted to live? Sure it might get me good money, but I will not be living a quality life. Yes, getting a job which have higher interest return is what most people would be looking for now, and I am too. But, I want to be able to live when I’m young, not when I’m old. Honestly, I am already having high blood pressure when I’m only 21. And this has happened since I’ve finished STPM, when I donated blood in 2010. 2 years later I’m being told the same thing. Do you know how high blood pressure come about? Stress, of course you do. As for now, I’m doing something which I do not have genuine passion for, and the stress of anxiety kicks in all the time because I have no idea how to face you. It is not good for my health and I know it. Dealing with studies which I have no genuine passion for just increases the dosage of stress I have, and will tax on my body. Stress can be good or bad, and this is quite bad. You might ask me to let go of veterinary medicine, and just do what YOU wish. But, may I ask you one question? Can you let go of medicine and let me do what I want for a change? I know you are going to bring up A lvls VS STPM issue again, but I’ve grown quite a little from back then. STPM have changed me a lot, and also how I look at medicine. It is just not for me, because I will not go ALL out for it.

An example would be you going all out for your business. You are willing to stay up all night, because you want to earn a good living, a better future for the family. I did that for STPM, and I did the same when I was enrolled in a vet program. Yet, in medicine, I can’t go all out. I just don’t have the passion anymore. I don’t genuinely care for people’s health anymore because of the condition I was brought into the medicine program. It is no one’s fault. It wasn’t your fault for allowing me to try out vet, because that reminded how ALIVE I can be while I know what I’m doing. When I applied for medicine, I read up articles, went to interviews and everything, but by the end of the day I still don’t know what I want to do. I speak of my interest in specializing in psychiatry or orthopaedics, but I say it because people were asking about it. It was certain not my fault either because I’ve finally found something I like to do. I didn’t know what I want in life, but thanks to you for allowing me to enter UPM, I finally know what I want in life. I want to get in touch with nature, again.

Now when I’ve entered a med school, for a semester like you have suggested, I realized I don’t know what I’m doing here. I do not see where I will go in the future, and even during clinical skills I just don’t see myself treating people. I’ve somehow grow to feel bothered to be treating people. What more, the status of the medical career in Malaysia is going no good. You might not see the impact now, but you will see it when I’ve graduated as a vet. You will then be happy you didn’t invest on a program without any returns. Frankly speaking, if you had asked me to continue my 5 years as a medical student, I might probably quit in year 3, because of the workload which I do not wish to take. I might not even start my housemanship, because I do not wish to.

I want you to know that it is NO ONE’s fault that I turn out to not want to take medicine. It is because I have walked a very different route in my life to get to where I am here.  I wish that I could appreciate what you want for me, a good life ahead.  And asking me to take up something as  hectic as medicine, which I have not, and probably will not grow to like , is like asking me to marry a person I have no feelings for. It will be a horrible experience for you, and me. I will turn out to be a doctor with a license to kill. Do you want to see your son doing bad stuffs in a future?

It is not like I’m doing drugs, or I’m getting into crime, or I’m doing some weird and redundant courses like game programing or diploma in hairstyling. I’m actually enrolled into a medical program, very well deemed respected. I’m saving lives also, just not human. I will be able to preserve human lives, by preventing the spread of diseases between human and animals. I will be able to improve the quality of human lives by improving the health status of the animals we consume or have as mates. I will be able to educate people more about how important animals are to humans, the other way round, and also preserve the living beings which are continuously being destroyed by human. It is very well-associated with human medicine if you are really worried that I can’t secure a future. I can, and I will. It is just the matter of how I deal with it.

I just want you to know, I’m not JUST doing this to fight you. I know what I want in life now, and I have an aim, that is to change the perspective and views of people on the vet profession and animal. Medicine gives ticket for people to fix people when they are very messed up, when they are in contact with disease, with a broken arm, with problems. You might think it is very noble to help human, but I think dealing with animals is what I wish to do , and can do right now. All these conflicts happened when I’m on the way to pursue my life career, and my life for the rest of the days I’m living has made me very rejecting, and it will NOT help me in my later stages of studies. As for now, I’m studying because I do not wish to put the money you have invested to waste in my current semester, but I’m pretty sure I’m not doing well at all, because I’m not giving my 100% in pursuing the study. Why? Because I have already gave up and am not bothered about the medical profession anymore. It will be a waste of money to continue funding me for a course, which I have no interest in. It is unfair to me, because I’m wasting my time and its definitely unfair to you and the amount you put on me.

At some point, you might be disappointed in me. But I think I have worked hard enough up till today to keep up with your expectations. Taking up medicine might be your ultimate wish for me, but it is time for me to tell you frankly how I feel. I don’t want to be a person who do something because I am asked, or because the condition says I should. I want to know what I do, and the work as a veterinarian tells me I know what I want, and am doing. So please, do not be upset. Because by the end of the day, I will be living this live, and because I chose it I will not regret it. A levels was a disaster because we did not communicate properly, and I couldn’t live up to the financial burden of the psychology, as well as the presence of Chia Jing because I was afraid that you might do some comparison. Do you see how all these stressful event arises because I was so afraid? These were the problems. As for now, I know what I want, and Vet was something I’ve worked really hard to achieve. Getting into a medical school in Malaysia today is no longer a big issues, especially private ones. I am certain I will be able to lead a better, higher quality life as a veterinary medicine student in a public university, than a medicine student in a private university.

So don’t be disappointed because I chose something I’d actually like, and that I know I will work my life for it. Be proud because your son is actually taking a program which will be of benefit towards the development of the society and country. Be proud because I am no doing any crime, drugs or things which harm people. Be proud because your son was the only person in either side of the family, be it Teoh or Tan to be able to get into both Public and Private university. And be proud again, because your son actually is doing something he have genuine interest for, not just the monetary interest. Last but not least, be proud, because I have keep up with so many attempts and expectations you have in me.

STPM was the last thing you should be worrying about. Vet is definitely something I will have full interest with, and I will have no regrets doing it. Whether or not if I should have enter IMU first, or I shouldn’t have enter UPM for experience, it does not matter anymore. What matters most now is, I’m doing something which I will do the rest of my life, and I’m certain of it. Plus, I’ve got all the fees covered. With PTPTN loan, I can cover ALL the fees by the loan without you having the need to fund my study fees other than the living cost. You can invest on other properties which may generate even better monetary returns. So please, I ask again, let me continue my pursuit of knowledge in veterinary medicine. I miss the joy of gaining knowledge, and I’m certainly not having it now.

Your son,

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Buffetting : Busy Bee 2

At least I'd actually enjoy vet school?

This week of lectures and workload is killing me! 8am tutorial tomorrow!

Gosh I so wanna quit med school now, for what ever reason it is I don't wanna be in the program!