Friday, March 4, 2011

Buffetting : Friendships











I've ran through multiple times on issue like these in my previous posts.

Somehow, friendship is one contradicting topic, where people can get hurt easily even when they dabbled around for a short period.


How would you give away a friendship you've built for the past 4 years, and just move on as if you never knew the person.

Lets put this friend as Is.

I knew him through prefectorial board, and we got close during form 3, when we were constantly performing duties in similar places and classes.

As time passed by, both of us got into the same board, which is some Welfare(Kebajikan) board.

We both chose to enter the board to prove one thing, even when we are from the board where performances are deemed to minimum, we are able to climb all the way to top posts.

Let me show you the whole organization structure of the board:

Pardon the horrendous drawing, TULS draws better ones XD.

So the whole system goes from top to bottom, and the top 6 are like the main directors in the board, consisting of Head Prefect(Ketua Pengawas)-[1], Asst HP(Timbalan KP)-[2,3](normally one for guy, another for girl), Secretary(Setiausaha)-[4], Treasurer(Bendahari)-[5], and Asst Sc(Penolong SU)-[6]

The codes are like the position in the whole board, as the 1st meaning the top person, and the last, well you get the jiff.

And below the top 6, there are 4 different boards, each governing different matters. The hierarchy goes from left to right, and Discipline board as the top, followed by Spotcheck, Public Announcement System, and last but always seemed to be weakest, Welfare.

Back in Form 3, each prefect was asked to choose which board to enter, and the reasons why. Both me and Is took initiative to enter the Welfare board, although we had also stated other choices.

Looking at the organization, you should know where our positions are, seeing that Welfare being the last board, and we were Ahli Jawatan Kuasa(Ex-cos) back then.

Anyway, we managed to prove ourselves along the way, and we had many in common such as Taekwondoe, squash, prefect board, and also similar ideologies.

Close enough, till I was given the chance to be one of the top 6 in shadow, as we need 2 weeks of prep period before our official, so to speak coronation.

And Is, was also given his position he had always wanted the Ketua Disiplin in shadow.

Yet, because of some unknown reasons behind the sinister manipulation of the school's discipline board, Is and another friend Sv were also promoted to be in the top 6, forming a new top 8, and the 2 who didn't manage to enter top 6 will take over positions as Ketua Disiplin and Ketua Spotcheck.

I was naive, and I thought that its because of the comrades in our board was that strong, and things became competitive. Undeniably till today, I have to admit that we were indeed, one tough batch.

Yet, things were never nice for me, other than the mere luck for studies, things were kind of horrid for me.

I was demoted from the shadowing top 6, and became the KD in the end.

Well, I resented for a few hours, finished up 20 pieces of McD nuggets and doing housework on the same time.

Up till today, I still can't let things go, and I still do resent the top 6, at some point.

I guess the period in Form 4 and 5 was pretty tough on me, and things got real cynical around me. I felt betrayed. I felt dumped. And I was alone.

Of course I knew the decision wasn't theirs to make, and I definitely have no problem for Is in taking over my spot. They were good, and I kept my promise in supporting them till the very end.

Yet, the point still remains. Letting go is hard, after all I went through alone.

As we proceed to retirement as prefects, and the SPM exam ended, we had a mini gathering in Is' house.

I still remember vividly how Is' mom said:

"Every year at this time(somewhere near early December), you all must gather again here and have fun like this okay?"

And I thought, that was real nice.

However, as time shifts and things changes, I never made it into the house after that day.

Probably its because everyone else was busy, but we still managed to have mini gatherings and outings, of course most of the time without Is.

We'd figured he prefer not to be acquaintances with us anymore, and he pulls himself out from almost, I mean almost ALL of the high school circles.

Never know the reason. I wonder if I will be able to find it out at all.

And the promise we made to his mom, was indeed a broken one.

After all those times we went through, the chatting of what positions we are aiming for in the board, how he had beat me in squash, all the ridiculous words he utters for pete's know reasons, the stupid camp we went for together, all of it.


It is just, brushed away by him just like that.

I wonder if I'm able to do that.

I do resent the top 6 till today, after what the whole scene has put me through.

As for now, I've also made up a cruel, cruel decision. I might also one day, be like Is, after I've managed to receive Offer Letters of universities from the overseas, or even out of the states.

Friendship is indeed one screwed up crap.

I for one know that, a few close friends is enough. Acquaintances, are indeed much needed. But for those who knows you deep and good enough, as long as they are there anytime you need, they are indeed, you friend.


The friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you. ~Elbert Hubbard, The Notebook, 1927

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