Buffetting : What Matters Most, Again.

Being free and course-less around sure made plenty of room for weird thoughts and fantasies.

Owh well, not too close to fantasies yet, just thoughts.

Hmm, where should I start again.

I guess its just the curiosity-kills-the-cat scenario again.

It never occur to me that I some how, well, wants to be in a relationship, for now, till 2 of my friends told me about their experiences lately.

Well lest start with the girl, Y.

Y is a tough girl. Stunning, definitely the girl who guys go gaga over her, worshiping her like a queen bee.

Being a girl who knows what she wants, she has finally seeing someone now. 9 years elder, with a child.

She described their relationship as, well pretty much stable and very adult.

The main reason they got together is because Y knew that He knows what he wants, and is mature enough to deal with various matters, and well the whole thing is just mutual.

I guess I'm one of the first fellas Y actually told. The instant realization came into play when Y picked up the phone and talked to a person with such a low tone which I never heard before in my life dealing with Y.

Well, seeing that she is going stable, and being so adult makes me feel like I'm in a totally different league from Y now.

Why? Cause I'm still craving for child's play, I guess.

What Y's going through now made me always think of, what do I really look for in the other half?

Matured? Stable? or as long as we have fun and is happy together will just do good?

Weird, I'd never really thought about it. It's just a feeling which I need I guess.

Since young, I only defines a person really attracts me when I go breathless in front of them.

Sadly till today, the whole "moment' hasn't really happened yet.

And then we have S, which I guess it was just a short-term affinity I had for S. Apparently the gym instructor is hitting on S.

Well, about S, still in the verge of knowing S. I've also been brainwashing myself to tell myself that S ain't exactly the person I'm looking for, because S totally violates the dream partner I have had.

Contradictory, I thought I have had no vision of my future mate?

The feeling's absent I guess.

Back to the gym instructor. Weird. I mean like totally weird.

But then again, things like this happens everywhere. Not only gym instructors, secretary-boss relationship.

What else, golf-instructor, tennis instructor, swimming instructors. It's like all instructors hits on their students all the time.

They might not hit ALL their students, but one in a blue moon normally just happen.

Interacted with the instructor before, though he ain't the super good-looking nor the nice type, The conversation between me and him never go beyond 30 seconds. And here he is texting S almost on hour basis.

Owh well, screw that, I have better friends and circles to interact with. Lets keep things professional between me and this particular instructor.

And well, the S incidence now pricked me on, do I really need this now?

What happened to the celibacy vow I made till 30? Am I going to revoke it?

Is it wise to revoke it? At least for now?

Just don't really want this kinda stuffs get into my high school-university transition period. The damages are normally severe and I'm not sure if I can handle it.

So, what matters most this time?

Looks, like what S have, or just plain maturity like Y is dealing with, or feeling like what I have always thought of?

Or you might just tell me its all in one. Seriously, pick one.