It comes to a stage of my life again for me to get depressed.
CNY 2012 is not really going well for me.
All the last minute fiasco;
the last minute renovation
the last minute cleanup
the last minute catering services
the last minute course selection
the last minute this and that
Apparently 3 consecutive midnight movies weren't enough to tone me down.
It's like everynight its sleepless night thinking about how am I suppose to choose between how I wish my life would be, and how my family wish my life would be.
I was told to give Monash a try, just a sem.
But I am not willing to give up the opportunities laid for me in UPM.
There are so many doors, waiting for me to just open them up and do great things back there.
Not to mention those cute lil calves and does waiting for me to see them.
And my course mates.
Any my dorm bed.
If I were to take a sem off in UPM, so many would change.
One questioned if I were able to continue with vet with a different company.
I couldn't say YES immediately, because it was THEM who were with me all the way! A change of company means a change of a whole lots more.
I am not willing to give this up.
But then again, this questions my affinity towards the COURSE, or just the people.
Monash is pretty well-known for their snobbish and spoiled prince and princesses.
And I'm not really sure if I am able to associate, or wish to associate with them.
Even if I have to, I don't feel like it.
Being in a public university taught me how to be appreciative, and how people had really worked so hard to get into their courses.
It wasn't only by sheer luck, there are sweats and tears behind them too.
Compared to those in private universities, I found people in public ones are much more down to earth. Well at least for the time being.
So its depression period again. Vet or Med. Life or what not.
Why am I subdued to all these all the time?
It sucks to even have the power to choose.
I need someone to hypnotize me.