Buffetting : Neither World

Being brought up as the eldest son in a Chinese family has indeed molded me into a pretty fatherly figure to most of the people around me.

So as so to the extend I've become the typical "father" to most of the people I know around me.

I consider matters like a father would.

Take measures like a father would.

Heck, I even dress up like a father would. Except, not like mine.

I'm sure I've developed this father syndrome after Form 6, when I've had the taste of reality.

Things weren't as cream and sweet as they were portrayed in shows, and bad things hit you hard and nasty in your face by daily basis.

I've survived hardship in a very destructive manner.

Yet, somehow I still do wish to break free from just being the father figure.

True, I can be source of ideas and advices if people needs them.

But some how I'd just feel like I need someone I can too confide in instead of pulling everything into my vortex of nothingness.

And outing today somehow reflected on how my romantic relationships will go one from now:

Probably none.

I'm just too different to fit in neither world.

I guess I should put an earlier renouncement.

It does seemed to be a flee, but it's too also a relief.