2010 was crazy, but 2012 was THE battle. Looking back at myself over the past year really have told me what a busy man I have been in 2012, especially in the later months.
January : The year started out very depressingly. Very.
I was forced to enter a course which my family would be happy while I suffer in unsatisfactory and anger. The whole month was enveloped with much rage and madness, any single fickle will render me restless and berserk. I was torn between identities and lives, and knowing I had no full control over my life literally sucked.
February: I've finally accepted the fact that I've no control at this point of my life, and I just have had to give in. The long hours around the family in an awkward atmosphere was no fun. I was literally vindictive down from my core swearing I will not get attached to medicine,
March: I might have gave into enrolling into a med school, but nothing stops me from keeping in touch with my true love, the vet school. I did my very best to have no strings attached to the med school, which I'm glad I did because the place didn't really deserve my love and devotion for it compared to vet school.
April: I lived in the constant struggle one whole month, trying to figure out what is important in my life. I've lost friends, family relationships, health and at some point my temper and mind. Meditation didn't work while I storm through the house in Tempus mode every single day sniping down every family members I see in my way. I was determined that I hate the family I'm in and I was absolutely ready to leave if I had to. The talk I had with my counselor in med school helped A LOT.
May: The month to invoke the Wesak spirit finally got me the courage to end the Vet-or-Med cycle once and for all. As blessed by my karma, I finally broke the barrier of my parents in looking the vet profession at a prejudice manner, allowing to reach my full potential as a veterinarian instead of a stuck up physician.
After settling one of the last hoo-ha as the leader of my group in Monash, I'm good to go. I left abruptly, while some actually noticed my disappearance, I've managed to make a quiet exit.
June: The month of most rambles, because of my withdrawal from med school I had to start participating actively in the family business due to the lack of manpower around the company. Driving duty and working hours were off the chart while I sulked every single day and night for the next september to come.
to interact with cross-cultural entities.
July: Back to the vet business, I've started to make my schedules packed with practicals to get back into the saddle, at the same time away from the crazy life of a company assistant and driver. Participating in these practicals made me even more determined to serve the animals and society as a veterinarian, and the path I've chose and stubborn on was absolute right for me.
August: Turning 21 was supposed to be a big thing for the community like mine. But for me, it went by just like that. The planning was totally ad-hoc, and it wasn't really well-received by the family. I had no help, no aid, no suggestions, only complains and blames. Sucks to plan your own 21 birthday, without support from your family or friends. Thinking of the guest list itself was a migraine, but I'm relieved things just turn out right.
September: Stepping back into a familiar grounds, familiar face, a familiar smell of the hostel and faculty. I'd never once regret my decision. The course, the outcome, the career opportunity, the whole design of the profession, the management and the people. Helplessly involved in various activities of the university, I've became a mad machine upon entrance.
programmers. Looking out for juniors who can help, getting them to help out while you stress over the design and making of the backdrop of the game was a long, tiring task.
December: I've managed to complete a lot in the whole year.
An enrichment program.
A dogathon program.
Getting elected as student rep.
Participate in a mural drawing.
Making trips to places.
Planned a Christmas event.
Overall, I've been through hell and heaven in 2012.
But 2012 have also taught me, when there's a strong will, karma will make its way out.
May 2013 be a blessed one for all sentient beings.
PS: Being a vet student made me a better Buddhist.