Saturday, April 11, 2009

KZB on: Forever Core

Even though I had tasted loneliness since ever, I thoroughly felt my 5 years of bitterness in my secondary school, when I stepped into the school grounds today to pickup my invitation slip for my Hari Kecemerlangan.(will continue about that later,let me finish my point 1st~)

Remember whenever you missed a lesson or class, you will automatically go to the person who is sitting right next to you for the homework or or sorts?

Or when you have any functions or activities at all, that you can rely on the person who is sitting next to you in class?

Obviously, most of you had one.

Sadly speaking,for the whole 5 years in my secondary school, I never failed to leave my seat beside me empty. Even till today,in my college, I'm still sitting alone, in the corner of the class.

Pathetic isn't it? Funny that I had only realised today, when I see myself driving alone down the road.

I can say, I never had a best friend. I have a bunch of great, good friends, but I never had a best one. Where I really had shared all my secrets, all my memories,all my devotion.

Yes, I devotes my life to my friends, but the ones which I will do at all cost, I truly had none.

When I cried in the lonely nights, I had no one to turn to.
When I was down and sad, I had no one to turn to.
When I was confused and stressed up, I had no on to turn to.
When I was in the greatest turning point in my life, I had no one to turn to.

Who is a friend?

Or rather;

What is a friend?

I envy those who had a mate, for everything they do.

From studies to sports,
From shopping to hobbies,
From camps to travels.

Frankly speaking,I'm really tired of my own life, and I hate it a lot.

Everything that I had done was never right, or up to expectations.

I have no idea why,my life is really screwed up...

Friend, when are you going to show yourself before me?

Swithering Away,


  1. But you're so friendly.......
    I also never have a "best friend", but I share my secrets with all friends, lol.

  2. soh hai... why suddenly become pessimistic?

    take the initiative to meet new friends, don't just sit there are wait people to approach you...

    this is life, most of the time we need to take initiative!

  3. delusion: being friendly is a thing, having a friend to share a secret is another...

    willy: i know.... but it is so hard to open up the heart to someone you know, because i've got hurt so many times, yet my friend didn't notice...

  4. Because of your past experiences which you couldn't let go, you become too self-protective?

    I admit that it's a good mechanism of self protection but when it goes far beyond the limit, it isn't good, right?

    Hope you're fine!

  5. ET:im not sure when am i going to be ready for this.... sometimes, human are too unpredictable...