Saturday, April 4, 2009

KZB on: Consequence of Golden Silence

Okay peeps this is for my one and only friend... You know who you are and this post is completely dedicated for you...

Remember when we were in primary schools and the teachers had always complained we were a nuisance in causing Chaos Region in the class? And the English teachers, most of the time will go," Don't you know that silence is gold?"

And we were like, we are smart enough to know that there ain't any gold popping outta our body by keeping ourselves okay? And we continued the havoc.

And there was when i found out that the pronoun, was the exact translation from a chinese idiom, namely "chen mo shi jin" or Silence is Gold. It is the best when we keep silent when stuffs getting over-drived and let the whole situation calm down.

That was what I precisely did today, when I headed for a movie in Sunway Pyramid. Honestly, I never felt this BORED in watching a movie before... even with the real boring scenes during my normal screening, I would at least complain, or whine about the nonsense.

Today, I was totally uninterested. Even with all the banging and honking(we watched The Fast and Furious 4) , I slept... I FREAKIN' SLEPT!!!!! Wth~~~~ But that wasn't the point... something else was bothering me...

And our eyes crossed more like a dozen of times today, yet I was doing best in avoiding the direct contact. I wanted to keep quiet, and it seems as if you were okay with it. So, I kept quiet and stroded off.

Why am I avoiding you?

No I'm not mad or upset.

Most, or actually, All may see it as if I was jealous or envy because he finally got himself another soul.
It is as if I was mad at him.
It is as if I was upset.

But it wasn't.

I told myself this:

IF a person wanted to tell me something, he or she would have done it, without me needing to nudge them.
IF a person really need that amount of space, I will not intrude him or her..
IF a person wants to have life, apart from the original, I will support him or her.
IF a person is happy, I will be the first to be happy for him or her.

I know how this works. I never ever question your judgement. You have your reasons for your ways and I am no one, NOBODY to stop you.

But know this, I'm a human too. I have my limits, and I need my time-outs.

It is my fault that I never gave chance for you to tell;

it is also my fault that we end up like how it is now.

Avoiding a conversation in a group will not be a bright idea for now, as I'm really dealing with a huge lump of everthing lately.. My dog, my education, my family,my career and my life.

It is just such a crucial time for me to adjust right now and I can't take any more impacts..

Worse, I'm all alone.

I really wanted to talk, but you seemed so quiet, not willing to spill anything. Guess you didn't want to talk anyway...

I'm sorry, but you can always have it your way, your call.

I'm borned to walk the long and lone path anyway....

I need a break... I'm really tired now......

So much for keeping a golden silence...

Swithering Away,


  1. there's no need to be pressured. watever comes, comes. but that doesn't mean you don't have to work for it.

    here's a piece of advice. DO NOT EVER ENROL FOR A MEDICAL SCHOOL!

    but no one ever listened. that when they reached 3rd year with all those workloads and social time out getting less and less and they grumble and grumble, they began to wonder and doubt if they've chosen the right path.

    so yeah, think about it. medical school is not as glamorous as you think it is.

    i know. i've been there.

    and really, medical doctor is not the sole career out there. watever field that you choose in the end, it must be something you have passion for, something you know you would not regret. NOT FOR THE MONEY. NOT FOR THE GLAMOUR. NOT FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR FAMILY.

    but again, if you do get that scholarships of yours, i congratulate you. otherwise, there's no need to despair. i'm doing just as fine while some of my counterparts who got it, ended up doing something else in the end.

    so yeah. live happily. spill.

  2. but i was going to!!! Yes i know about the social life and all, and I have been doubting it already by now... 3rd year is the crucial year huh? Clinical year haha

    Glamorous? The doctors work like dogs in the hospital!!! I don't think they are glamorous at all!! In fact their works are worst than the hospital attendants!!!

    passion, i hope i have it in me... yes plenty had claimed that, if we want to help people, being a doctor is not the only way... but i dont want to feel helpless.. I have been through that stage and i hate it. I want to be able to do something!

    and about the scholarship, if i get it then sadhu lar... if not... my a levels will be my guide to my career~~~ hope to hear from you more!!!

  3. Make sure it's a dream that you want :) Medicine isn't to be taken lightly but if you do have a passion for it, I hope you manage to hold on to that!

  4. savante:im so doubting it right now!!! how can i cope with doctor if im struggling my a levels????