Thursday, April 19, 2012

Buffetting : Do you ever feel?

Or were you ever told, that you are a good *fill in the blanks*

Do you ever feel that you are not exactly doing as *adjective* as what they'd actually said?

Or do you just feel contented on what people have told?

Sometimes its just so weird, because we are to perceptive of others' views on us.

Or at least it is for me.

I am currently assigned as the "leader" for my current group of academic associated, but we are meant to be really close friends as we are the first group of people we know upon enrollment.

It may be easy, or perhaps IS easy(yes I'm expecting some bombardment Aiden) task, but I personally find this designation challenging.

I need to get copies of notes done.
I need to attend to several different matters regarding the group
I need to coordinate dates, tasks and sometimes partners for tasks for the mates.

It seemed so trivial and little compared to what the course reps are doing, but we are different people and we have different priorities and expectations, so lets not get there.

It only clicked in my head that the group mates actually commented that I am a "good" leader, because I put on a checklist on what we need to settle.

I like things being done in a listed way. Sure give me surprises and I will deal with it, but it doesn't mean I will like it.

And being neurotic-prone as ever, I'm not sure how to react to such comments on me.

I know the typical gesture in the current course's mates, like all of them, is to just support the person no matter if he or she is actually doing it right?

Just like when I was imposingly being asked to represent my group(because I am somehow already being crowned as the brainiac) to make some explanation on the PCR and what are the controls of the genes of different length used for in gel electrophoresis.

I wasn't exactly sure, but I somehow in a way got the answer right, though it was really vague and fine line. The professor was really nice and supportive, and didn't shoot me down like she usually would during lecturers. (Thank you Prof Maude!)

And when I was walking back the other legendary smartass told me I was "awesome" in explaining.

I was like, "Yeah right!"

Paranoid or insecure?

Hmm, do you ever feel good when people tell you that you are good in something, or do you question if you were up to par?


  1. hahaha. I'll have to agree with you on this. Being a leader is NEVER easy. People take you for granted. And I feel like the "compliments" are forced. Like, when you do all these stuff for them, they feel obliged to say something nice. I dunno. Maybe it's just me.

    1. somehow it just works that way. cause we are taking the time and initiative to complete those tasks. if we don't who would?

  2. Replies
    1. Haiya... afraid I'm not up to par ma...