I guess my blog spot was really noticable, since there are number of people talking abour this "girl", X about my blog. Well, they have short-listed to a few girls such as:
1. Jessica Tee Sze Tze
2. Tin Yuee Jhian
3. Leong Yuet Yin
Wanna who is the one? My answer says none of them. I can't say I have no feelings towards any of them because of the time we have spent together and all the memories we treasured. Yet, I chose not to like any of them because of several factors. Staying as a close, reliable, MALE friend would be more than enough. It is hard enough to talk about some stuffs with friends, let alone its a guy, but i think earning a person's trust is the first step towards friendship. And I don't want this to perish because of these "feelings" towards them. Yes, feelings, but the kind that family has. The urge to protect and help them out in tough situations. Jessica, well she is really a nice girl and yes pn lee may think that i'm reliable and all but i bet she takes me as her son like how she treats jessica. And she will be counting on me to protect jess when she is out of pn lee's boundaries, as en elder brother. There are at least 5 noticable people who are going after her,"you guys know who you are" and most of them are cloase friends of mine. I do not want to jeopardise my friendship between both sides just because of my selfishness. I steppe back. And yes, we are husband and wives, since when you see the husband is the girl and the wife is the boy? Clearly we are mere good friends.
YueeJhian, I can't agree more with her. Let people say what they want to say as long as we know what we are doing. We are really comfortable talking to each other about anything, so why stop us? Why do we have to be a couple to just talk about stuffs? Is that wrong? Owh well, its just misunderstanding everwhere. She is like a mum and a sister to me and I really wish we can keep it that way, free to talk about anything.Clearly, we are good friends only too.
Yuet Yin, she has been a great friend and a great sister. We have been supporting each other since we knew each other, nuturing each other till we have grown to what we are today. Even her mum takes me like her "kai zhai" namely, god son. So i think our relationship is like a family bond.
Speaking of which, may yuan called me for movie instead of kean weng... I've no idea what's going on and kean weng was freaking quiet the whole day... Glad he smiled in the end... >sigh<>hehe<
This brings back to what Hannah told me in Arif's house for Shaun's surprise birthday party.
Yong Bin: Hey, we are not gonna see each other for a long time after this..
Hannah: Oh my goodness and I'm the girl and you are being emotional.
Hoi Liong: Maybe he is having KLIENs FELTER disease.(f5 biology chapter 5 and 6)
Yong Bin: well my personality test says that im 51% masculine and 49 % feminine.
Yes, I tends to get in touch with my feminine side ALOT. I have no idea how this explains and the kleinsfelter disease, not true. I do not develope breasts or ovaries at the same time having scrotums.... I'm 100% male hoi liong.
Maybe this is how i get people to understood me >sigh<
Back to X, people out there, really stop guessing. You have no idea who is X and X will be your wildest dream when you knew who X is.Seriously.. I've got back the reply from the online counsellor, he says I don;t have toi worry about anything. The boy and girl thing will come as time passes... Yeah I hope so... Thinking about X almost every split second is like I don't know... Basilisk?>sigh< How I'd wish i told X how I'd feel but too much X don't know... I bet X will never know hahaha.....
Ok I've just finished 2 hours of squashing and I really felt belonged... I never felt this way when playing other sports and that includes badminton... Not even with my best friends.. I have no idea why but I feel extremely comfortable and natural holding the 150 grammes of racquet, squashing the ball right towards the wall... It's so refreshing and I don't feel left out.. It's not like I was left out in other sports it's just that squashing really brings out my nature.. Not that I'm good in it or anything... Maybe people who squash don't quite react with people who play any other sports... They encourage, never ever build critics.. even if its critisme, they do it in a freakin polite way... That's how fantastic squash is....
Looking at my racquet, I remembered how my parents reacted when I wanted to get myself a new one. Their reaction was like, what-is-the-use-of-it? I was never supported, encouraged... way back to the primary my mum banned me form my basketball trainings when i had the chance... I had the height and all the traits for basketball, but my mum halted me... Then in secondary, i realised i can't catch up anymore.. Not after the lose of my basic movements and techniques... Then in form 3, I joined squash... They were very welcoming and I was really weak... They just smiled and said, try again... It took us long too... Well I just smiled back and trained... Then in form 5, when my skills are at the intermediate level, i competed in the All Stars... I joined, lost the first match... I remembered what my mum exactly said, "You are going to lose anyway, why bother going????" I was devasted. Like normal I can't do anything and I had to endure, and back off into my room. Why is it so different? My brother have at least 5 badminton racquets.. Yes maybe 3 of them were from my dad, but two of them cost like at least rm150++ per racquet? And theirs are freakin fragile compared to sqaush racquets and they constantly need to change their strings... Mine was rm300++ including bags or shoes... And my parents were like."One racquet not enough ar? So many for what?" I wanted a new pair of squash shoes, I had to beg like noone's business and my younger sibling's shoes tore, "rm100 plus buy only lar" on the spot... Mine was postponed to at least 2 months later after plenty of "trials" and considerations... Hey, mine is rm 150 only, and i've used it since form 3... There are atleast ten pairs of badminton shoes in the house, enough to switch between each family members for one whole week... Am i asking too much? May be im a little too self-centred or anything else, but i think i deserved... I think... >sigh< Double standards... Not supported for anything~~~~
Well today we went to arif's house for shaun's surprise party!!! I didn't get to see shaun's reaction!!! They said it was freaking funny... Well I guess I should make a list of quotes later for the participants haha... I went around twelve to help out... The egg sandwich which was a disaster... HAnnah, your quote.... but its just the look... It tasted good!!! And the cake was Secret Recipe's.. owh well its universally favourtied.. so I gues its fine...
I'm kinda tired now... Maybe i should continue about shaun's party some other day... Not emotional now... just tired and a little disappointed....
Quotes of the Day(hannah, you are first!!!)
Hannah: The eggs are suppose to be inside the bread, not the outside..
Shaun: Wei, I'm still recovering ffrom my blurr whei...
Navina and Kar Wyaii: We screamed throughout Twilight!!!
May Zhen: Owh c'mon Dinesh you can do this..
Dinesh: Hey, I bet you can do better than I do..
Chung Ee: I want bao bao...
Jessica: Accounts was freaking tough...
Ben Lim: Accounts came out "kelab"
Steven: Eh ben Lim accounts was easy arh?!
Ben Ang: Haha, yeah accounts was easy huh??
Yuet Yin and Yong bin: Yaahhahahah..the mayo!!!
Iman : Yuet, lok what are you doing!!!!
Arief: Eh how to block Shaun arh?
Hoi Liong: Eh, put anandh in front...
Anandh: Put Dinesh In front lar...
Guo Yi: Eh imagin we are old now.. Wgo wdo goh wou dou,,,,
Yi Xian: Today give you chance lar shaun....
Jer Renn: I pass my test!!!
Izwan: Should have called you and say you failed!
Kean Weng: Aish i'm not steaming arh ok....
Signing Off,
Binn-Kurozakura
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