Friday, January 28, 2011

Buffetting : Parenting

As posted by a fellow blogger Jer Renn on parenting, the American way of bringing up children seemed to be ideal for typical Asian youngsters, especially on the freedom policy.

Growing up in a typical SEAsian Chinese family, freedom is practically what every child desires.

It was still really vivid in my memories on the disapproval by my mum for me to attend birthday parties during the elementary days.

In Asia, the answer would be:

"No, I said no, and don't ask anymore," was practically what I hear every single time.

In Western Countries, the answer would probably be:

"Fine, as long as you don't get into trouble and finish your school work on time,". Of course, revoking such agreement would cause the kids in to be grounded.

Yet, there is also a different side, especially when it comes to earning possessions.

In most Asian families, the parents would spend cash to buy stuffs like toys, bags or food for their children.

In western families, the phenomenon will be different, so as the children will be asked to work for the possessions themselves, even when the parents can afford them, in most cases.

It might be how Asian parents try to reward their children after attaining those high grades, at the same time show some sentimental side of them.

The western parents are somehow much more liberal, and treats their children like adults. Undeniably, there are parents who love their children so dearly that they'd just serve everything with a silver cradle. In most cases, the parents are liberal.

Of course, being Asian, studies was the priority for all children. By hook or by crook, a satisfactory grade based on the child's capability was mandatory. As for Binn, studies was something which was never granted such freedom.

Being pressured to score high grades since primary school was vexing and stressful. There are curses and resentment along the way, and describing the mum as Devil was one of them.

Up till today, the same adjectives were used, due to the born nature of the mother.

Nevertheless, those pressure was somewhat a motivation to push Binn to a higher level.

Binn was the average student, and scoring an A would be enough. Yet the mum wants more, most of the time the idea of hitting the 1st place in class would be perfect.

It was not until I was in Pre-University level which I'd hit the target, but it was the self-subconscious which did the driving, instead of the yabbling and babbling of the mother.

Those pressure from young has seemed to sowed a seed in the mind, pushing the person to a further extend.

I've no idea to be thankful, or to resent those pressure. I never like those pressure.

It's probably the pressure has cause Binn to be so much more a worry-wort and neurotic most of the time today.

I guess a big part of the mind is thankful of the pressure.

If not, where would I stand today? If I were to be laid back, would I strive as hard as I did and still is today?

If there weren't any pressure, could I have had the courage to perform all the wonders I did?

But, at the end of the day, these pressure has cast a significant amount of impact on the mind, cause Binn to no want to stay at home.

Living alone in a condominium without any pressure is delightful. And that would be a dream come true.

So how was your childhood? How did your parents brought you up?

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