Sunday, January 30, 2011
Buffetting : Odd sheep
Living in a big family is not easy, and things get worse when you are the odd one out.
Taking up squash instead of badminton in the adolescent years was the perfect shift out from the sibling circle.
And being out of the circle means you don't get to spend much time sharing the same interest and topics, and that ranges the gossips of the favorite players to meeting with the circle's friends.
Somehow, living in such situation seemed to be perfectly fine by now, although the odd thoughts come and leave occasionally like, "Guess I'm not part of the family," or " Yes I was probably picked up by the trash , ending up with the name of 'bin'".
The years back in high school did provide a perfect landscape for independence and reticent training.
Stepping into adulthood in 2011 as a 20 years old male, Binn being self-centered Binn should probably reduce the rate of reticence.
Yet, its such a normal thing to do, avoiding the act can be uncomfortable.
It's a real pleasure to be a patient listener for others, but being a person who perform the consultation can be tricky.
Of course, many parties bring out the issue of trust and all. Yet, what can actually be solved by telling others. If its something that a person himself can solve, probably no one else can solve for him. By the end of the day, its up to his personal views and actions.
Back to being different.
Sometimes it might be the subconscious acting on its own to pull Binn out of the family.
Taking up Japanese somehow did wonders on such phenomenon.
While the family hunts and nails down every Taiwanese Hokkien drama from channel 333 of Astro subscription, Binn had rather lock himself in his room enjoy his dramas and movies.
Up till today, the development of mental state to leap out of this cage of indifference and misery has evolved so much, the act of stripping one's family name came up multiple times.
It's a bad thing, of course.
Disappointment. Sadness. Anger. Fury.
Yet, if there's nothing in common, what's the point of being family? Just because you were born into it? Or simply because the society said so?