Thursday, December 16, 2010

Buffetting: Relinquish

At least kept my words with the limited blog access.

After a hefty 7 months' time, I'm finally back to blog updates.

It's kind of a relief, yet there are reluctance in letting go, especially the experiences and times I went through in this period.

Well, that ends one of the chapters of my life, and the next is about to embark.

Before that, lets have a recap of the unannounced events which had made me who I am today along the 1.5 year passed by:

July 2010: When I 1st stepped into Form 6, I was really careful in dealing with people, and I tried not to steer myself away from my original plan, to get good results without have any attachment. Fortunately, I managed to fit it, as how I have fitted in back in Taylors, easily.
August and September 2010: Somehow I managed to get involved in something in the school, and the 1st event was coming up with a sketch for my Maths teacher's retirement. It was kind of a dejavu, but honestly speaking, in some ways it brought me much closer to these monkeys.

October 2010: It was like a dream come true when I've managed to participate in this international exchange program, especially with Japan in SMKSS17. Guess the Japanese in me couldn't bare allowing the chance of hosting the whole event slip through my fingers just like that. Although the downside of the hosting job was not being able to have my own partner, the girls in the pictures managed to ask me for interpreting assistance, enabling me to share experience with the friends from Japan, which was really a fortune.

November 2010: The first time I've ever hold newborns in my arms. They might be a different species, yet Hachi was like my own daughter, and having babies around the house was really a great pleasure, and tonnes worth of responsibility.

December 2010: Death is a real normal sight. Death of a beloved one, however is pretty much something most people refuse or hope they never encounter. The moment I held him in my arms, he was lifeless. There was no struggling like he always does when I held him, nor could I feel the pounding heart beats. The first time I held a dead mammal, and a dead life, also, a dead family.

January 2010: I've finally get to join back my foreign language class in ICLS after 1.25 years of course postponing. This is also when I wanted to continue pursuing my dream to Japan. Even though the chances are quite slim by now, I'm glad I've been following on the class till now, because this proves that besides from the main stream curriculum, I do and still have something extra in my CV upon university application. Plus, I've also made some extraordinary companions , whom never failed to entertain me in the class.

February 2010: My closest friend has embarked on his journey to the Lands of Kangaroos, which he didn't enjoyed much up till today. The group was there sending him off, although I would say I miss him too much, as there are multiple means of communication which are technologically-inclined enough to allow steady communication between us. I had also learned that, even when I'm leaving for overseas in the near future, I wouldn't need any friends to send me in the airport. Why? There's no point anyway, unless I'm flying to some backwater places where there are no access to any communication hubs.

March 2010: Meeting up with the primary schoolmates has proved that time do preserve our friendship, memories and experiences even after a decade. We were still close, perhaps closer and I've realized that even without high school mates, my primary school mates are still there for me, and they do not hesitate to allow me to enter their lives, considering I'm the only alien who shares no high school memories with any of them.
April 2010: I have had tried to lose off the attachment and responsibilities as a student. Yet, my mind and body has nevertheless steered me back to the direction and active participation of school events. The Pre-U march was truly a breathtaking,literally,experience, which has also proved that we STPM do not only smack our faces into books. In fact, our march has also impressed several parties due to the commitment and uniqueness we managed to incorporate into the whole system. Bravo I would say, and hell yeah, we did it under the rain."singing the rain" playing.

May 2010: I remembered telling myself NOT to get involved in dicing up white mouse by entering Form 6 back when I was in form 1. I couldn't have imagine myself looking into vibrating organs or oozing blood and there I am, dissecting the white mouse all by myself. This was much different from slicing up the frog back in form 5, because this assignment was real neat and everything was suppose to be in procedure. The whole dissection experience can be read here.

May 2010: I'm came to my consensus that if we want a friendship, you've got to keep it rolling. The whole story can be read up here. Can I live without companions? Maybe not for long term. But, I know how good I am in moving on. I've went through tough times alone, and honestly, I has made me so cynical about friendship at times I swear I could to walk away from it. So, the best solution is to move on. Attachments are sometimes precious and admirable, yet to me, an overboard of attachment can be also known as obsession or refusal of moving on. Why stay in the past, when you are obviously need to march towards the future?

June 2010: 1st things 1st. She is available.
Working so hard for a year continuously can be exhausting, and an escapade to KL can be real fun. Strutting around and holding "conquered" signs beside various roads and routes in the capital city did help reducing the stress. The escape experience was fun, and still by the end of the day, reality hits back and I've began to feel the adulthood I'm stepping into real soon.

July 2010: I've been practically given most of the event hosting jobs and managing duties throughout the year. I do appreciate the opportunities and jobs given, minus the fact that I practically whine my ways through them. Leading the herd is not an easy job, and I knew it since my miserable life back in the old school. Having the chance to work with people who takes things with maximum responsibilities like Pavithra was a real pleasure and her commitment has also minimized my stress level. I will never forget what a magnificent job you have done Pav.

August 2010: The first birthday present from across the skies. International friendships are truly rare, even more for presents exchange and the constant interaction between both parties. I dearly appreciate the chance that Mermaid and Bunny had provided me to deal with these 2 lovely Japanese girls. This has also strengthen my will to work even hard to pursue my passion in Japan.
September 2010: The re-establishment of the Buddhist Fellowship in SMKSS17 was a real bliss. Without fail, I was offered the position as the president of the club due to my resume back in my old school, and I'm sure there were messages and phone calls blasted behind my backs between the teachers. But, being the president again wasn't such a bad thing, and being able to find a group of friends, not just one, who share the same passion and energy towards a particular practice is a real blessing. Much more events were done and much more satisfaction was attained. We might have our argues most of the time, but deep down inside, we know we care for each other.
October 2010: It was finally time for me to leave the school, the mates, the clubs and the memories. I wasn't really keen of the school at the beginning, but throughout the 1.5 years, I've learned to accept, to understand, and to devote,a lil sarcasm here and there along the way,but yes, I know that the current school would serve as a much better learning environment compared to the previous one, including the support and care the administration body have given me. The previous school has no where near the current one, and I bet the PK Kanan of the old school doesn't even know my name. As for the student body, I had a wonderful time with the comrades and juniors. Did I mention I say "Dont Fuck with me" almost everyday to the prefects? Yes, that's me.

November 2010: All the exams came dashing into my life at this point. STPM, EJU and JLPT. 3 major exams in a roll and I managed to survive through them. The mental stress and torture was tormenting and hard to break through, even more with the other external factors including the family matters, school matters and some health issues. But then again, I do not regret doing all these, because I've learned to multitask and deal with stress. Reaching out for the dreams ain't as sweet as they sounded in bed time stories.

December 2010: The battle is finally over. All hopes, dreams and hardship for the past 1.5 years has been cast towards the papers and time. The late nights, study groups and tuition together was a like a dream, yet so real. Still, until now I can't believe that the war is finally over, and a new beginning awaits.

After 1.5 years I've been through hell, heaven and sometimes really sticky situations. If I was asked whether or not this period is worth living it once more, I would say no. Yet, this period had marked itself a pretty heavy loaf in my memories. I do not regret taking this path.

These times had made me what I am today, a really different person from the me I knew during the graduation back in the old school. At some point I do resent being the new me, yet seeing the change has proven that I've grown up, and its time for me to enter adulthood.though I still need to live with Digimon, Sailor Moon or Power Rangers.

Well, I've now officially relinquished my burden and restart my blog. Hopefully I can devote myself enough to post constant updates for your viewings.

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