I'm just going to spend about 5 minutes on this before I head for Pathology on the neurological system.
It occurred to me that late, my ties and relationships are going all backwards and differently from what I began in first year.
Originally, when I headed to university I wanted loosen up my ties with my family, for all the distress they have caused in that time; I wanted to tighten up my ties with my course mates , for all the good times they have given; I wanted to tighten up my tie with someone special.
Today, at the midway of my university journey, I began to tighten up my ties with my family; for the things that they will need me to be at home for such as my niece, and my new home; I began to loosen up my ties with my course mates, for they no longer are going to be available around me with their different schedule, or different plans; I no longer has any ties for anyone special.
It's so ironic and cynical, for me to actually boil back to my family, after all these while I have been trying so hard to sever. Where as for friendship and romance which I tried so hard to preserve before now I'm beginning to let go.
The cycle, is pretty insulting at times.
Something I've noticed, but it actually means I'm now closer to my family? Or they became my focus since I might have subconsciously trying to pull away from my course mates.
It's something that I would do. But somehow, I don't really feel that empty inside though.