Saturday, July 21, 2012

Buffetting : Seeking

Sometimes, scrolling down the FB newsfeed can be deteriorating at some point.

Managed to slash off a few more people from the account, seeing how we have totally zero common matters.

Took off a few blogs off the rolls, because sometimes there's just nothing left to be read, or perhaps because 2 can play the slash game.

And looking into pictures of the past is somewhat heartsickening, while looking into pictures of the present seemed so empty, even more when you are just not in it.

Walking in and leaving from places, institutions and people's lives were the repetitive maneuvers I've been committing for the past 2 years.

And somehow, I just have no more strength to keep up and stay.

And sometimes, I have no idea what's wrong with me. It's always with this pulling away from the past, and the people from it. Parties do invite me over for outings, but somehow I just don't go.

As for now the university mates are still around, but looking into 5 years ahead when I start to work, will be repeat this act again?

It's as if I'm some hermit-to-be or something. And I can totally see myself doing the same thing, especially when there's something like work to be of an excuse and a matter to submerge myself into.

I thought I've already done enough soul/mind searching over the years, but somehow when I found one I lose another.

Part of me just died off sometime ago, and its really hard for me to recall those feelings for things that matter to me.

What exactly, am I looking for at this point of my life?



  1. U just haven't find yet the people that u can really click with, that would stand tall and together. Just give people some chance and see how it goes from there. U might have such feeling just because of heaps of work piled up on u

    1. one thing's for sure, there's no work piled up on me. I'm the type that when I have work, everything else doesn't matter as long as I complete my work. Workaholic much, but I enjoy the process.

      as for people who I can really click with, well I thought I had, and the current uni mates do click really well with me, close to family. but sometimes, there's another small space left for people from outside other than work.

      well, I guess its because of the current confined status and period.

  2. Replies
    1. maybe, but I still have to keep the 30 yrs old promise. so its a dilemma.

  3. Haha, i should clear my FB list also..

    1. start soon. or it may eat you up. fast.

    2. it was for me, i guess. gosh I need a life outside FB

  4. sounds like both of us need a date... haha

    maybe with each other? :P

    1. hmm, don't tempt me.

      plus, you'd probably get a shock of your life meeting me anyway xD

      and you sure your work schedule can cope?its housemanship yo