Buffetting : Seeking

Sometimes, scrolling down the FB newsfeed can be deteriorating at some point.

Managed to slash off a few more people from the account, seeing how we have totally zero common matters.

Took off a few blogs off the rolls, because sometimes there's just nothing left to be read, or perhaps because 2 can play the slash game.

And looking into pictures of the past is somewhat heartsickening, while looking into pictures of the present seemed so empty, even more when you are just not in it.

Walking in and leaving from places, institutions and people's lives were the repetitive maneuvers I've been committing for the past 2 years.

And somehow, I just have no more strength to keep up and stay.

And sometimes, I have no idea what's wrong with me. It's always with this pulling away from the past, and the people from it. Parties do invite me over for outings, but somehow I just don't go.

As for now the university mates are still around, but looking into 5 years ahead when I start to work, will be repeat this act again?

It's as if I'm some hermit-to-be or something. And I can totally see myself doing the same thing, especially when there's something like work to be of an excuse and a matter to submerge myself into.

I thought I've already done enough soul/mind searching over the years, but somehow when I found one I lose another.

Part of me just died off sometime ago, and its really hard for me to recall those feelings for things that matter to me.

What exactly, am I looking for at this point of my life?

気に入った人を考えずに、まっすぐ仕事の将来を目指せ。

だが、人は一人で活きられないとも言われている。