Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Buffetting : In Need of Distraction

Struggling to get T out of my head for the past 2 weeks have nudged me the need to get distracted.

Going home to relax and have more to do is one way.

Succumbing myself in studies is another; although studying on reproduction anatomically and physiologically proved to be more of enhancement than distraction.

Immersing myself in busy schedule of activities deemed best.

But I have had enough of activities for the past 5 semesters. Really.

It's time to dive into something more, self-related. Like more languages, and hell, if I ever register a saxophone class.

I'd figure I'm the more attached one now. The horoscopes were right. We are in for a long ride.

I'm pretty sure we love each other as much, but Aquarius and Leo is pretty much the opposing nature to begin with.

This would pretty much summarize our, or at least MY issues now:

The major obstacle to love compatibility between a Leo and Aquarius is in their differing expectations from love. For the Leo, love is a 'grande passion' - full of extravagance, amour and drama whereas for the Aquarius it is more of an intellectual companionship where they can discuss and exchange ideas as well as explore new experiences with each other. Thus while the Leo expects and indeed is ready to offer complete loyalty to a partner, the Aquarius is much more protective about their personal freedom. The source of this major difference perhaps lies in their separate ruling elements.  The Leo is a fire sign and ruled by the Sun to boot, which makes them ardent, passionate lovers who may not be as emotional as water signs but nevertheless are capable of a deep connection with their partners. The Aquarius on the other hand is ruled by air which makes them prone to intellectualize romantic feelings and makes them rather emotionally detached. This difference to could be an important stumbling block in the Leo-Aquarius partnership and the only way to overcome is to be more understanding of each other’s motivations. While the Leo would have to learn to grant their Aquarius partners more breathing space, the latter would have to offer a greater degree of exclusive time and attention to the Leo partner.

The last part is extremely true as of now.

I need to breathe, so do T. I am in dire need to :

1- Get less attention from T. Maybe putting myself into activities again can pull the trick?
2- Know that we both have our lives to live. I shouldn't bind T's , neither should T bind mine.
3- Accept the fact that T loves me, its just that connection and timing will forever and always be a problem
4- Know that T loves me, despite the limited time spent and attention given. The devotion of the 3 days in Chiang Mai of close proximity, should have reassured that.

Not being able to chat as frequently as how normal couples do tolled me a lot; and sometimes the attention T gives to the family and so many other things apart from me, eats me up inside.

But I'd figured that, T's family has and will always be an important; more important part of T's life compared to a person, me who came into the life like, 8 months ago? 

I shouldn't be so selfish. Love is selfish; but love is all about giving too. I don't wanna be the nasty boyfriend, at least it would be easier if we are meeting our parents in the future.

And the fact that we are NOT a normal couple too, spells everything out.

Our nature of relationship is extremely hard to boot.

Our distance of relationship totally creamed the whole thing.

Our connectivity is just the cherry making the whole cake a perfect HARD.

Since it is going to be hard to begin with, I should just be grateful T is in my life.

Maybe we can be of more significance when we can actually live together independently from our families.


  1. Dont busy urself for the sake of not thinking of him cos the moment it's all done, it will come flooding back and u be swamped by it

    1. I'm open to suggestions lol~ Spending more time with other friends may also help I guess?