Sunday, July 20, 2014

Buffetting : Zero Connection

A drama series jolted my thoughts on this.

Do you have a connection with your parents?

The character in the series had a connection with his dad; culinary.

And when I flash back in to my family; every other sibling had.

But me.

The younger siblings had connection with the parents with sports.

The elder sister had connection with mom with work, and some family matters.

I some how, has zero.

I don't digg badminton matches or do good in the sports.

I don't wish to work in the family company; not wish to deal with the matters.

Sometimes, I just feel like I'm an alien in the family.

It's not like I don't care, I tried to participate.

Over the academic years I somehow managed to isolate and do what I needed to do; study and live my life.

After today's fiasco I feel that even more.

It was about the confinement lady for my sister who just gave birth and I was trying to ask questions.

Because of how the parents perceived the question, misunderstanding mine; they shot me down.

I'm done trying.

Literally. These days I just go home, do my thing, they ask questions I respond coldly.


Parents or not, somehow I just feel like I'm this disposal item in the family. When I'm back I do stuffs.

I'm only me, when I'm away from home.

2 more weeks, come on.


  1. Aww... pat pat... come give you a big deep hug. Well, I don't have connection with my Dad when I was still a student. I don't know if you read that post about how I get close to my father but sometimes, I believe either party must make the first step to try to get connected with our parents. Most of the time, parents don't know how to communicate with their children due to generation gap. They would feel happy if children come talk to them.

    If you have not read that post about me and my father before, here's the link

    1. It's different in my case; like we've discussed over the social media.

      The thing is, I am no longer interested in forging those communication anymore. It's not the first; definitely not the last time they would NOT understand what I do or what I think.

      And I'm really not bothered to explain to them anymore. I just do my thing, and just let go.

    2. It's normal for parents to see and say things from their point of view and that's when you feel like they don't understand you at all. Only if they stand in your shoes and see from your side, then there won't be any clashing of ideas and opinions. My Mom used to object me from travelling saying it's a waste of money, money is hard earned, watch TV also can see other country's culture and stuff but for me, it's different. I want to experience it, I want to be there, to feel it, to see it, taste it. That kind of experience is priceless. So I told her, "Mom, you used to be young once and when you want to do something you like, your parents object, how do you feel? Now that you're a parent, would you repeat the same thing to your children?"

      From then, she learn to let go and to see it from my point of view. I told her as long as I'm not doing anything illegal or dangerous, I have the rights to pursue my own dreams because this is my life. Everyone's path is different. Everyone is responsible to carve his own path.

    3. I've been there before; really. Read vet-med dilemma and you probably would understand better.

  2. i can relate to this. sometimes i don't bother to talk much at all. nodding along whenever it sounds fine to me.
    Talking my life problem with them isn't gonna help anyway.
    Might as well I deal with it alone. as what i have been doing for a very long time.

    1. Guess we are of the same side here. There's only so much they can do for us now when we are living lives they have never been living before.

      I'd wish I could explain to them more; but sometimes they just wouldn't listen or get it.

  3. The walls that have been built for years will not so easily be torn down. But perhaps we can climb over them.

    1. Climb eh? What a way to look at it! Climbing sometimes need even more effort; but it might be worth the time!