Buffetting : その日本語の秘密

僕、やっぱり情けないな。

自分の家にいる一週間、
情感のことばかり考え、
ほとんどやるべきことしなかった。

ときとき、こういう他人が知らない言語で
ぱっと自分の気持ちをはっきり言う。
この場いは書くかな？

情感、僕の生活に振り返るもので、
完全にそいつを閉めないことで、
悩むのなる。

でも、情感が閉められるというのは、
僕もお盆さんになれちまっただろう？！

あああああ、
何で人間は情感に左右されてるのか？

毎日、情感を考えなく、
やるべきことをして暮らせばいいじゃん？

僕、諦めたいの。
もう、情感なんて左右されたくない。
なぜ今でこういうものが捨てられないの？

”神様なんていない、だけど誰か信じたい”－－桜吹雪、北川景子

Buffetting : Tanjung Sepat

This is a late post; something I thought I wouldn't be posting but I am.

A day after the small ruminant practical ended Ice Queen invited me to join her voyage to Tanjung Sepat with the IVSA exchange students from Belgium.

The journey took us about 2 hours on Kesas Highway from Sri Petaling to the heart of the town.

Amateurs around that zone of Selangor should totally get their GPS rolling to prevent themselves from getting lost; thankfully Ice Queen's iPhone was suave enough to bring us right where we should be; the Lover's Bridge.

courtesy of calvin

Originally paved in supple wood planks across the sands into the cerulean water; now its as if hulk and hulkissa made out and tore down the whole damn segment of the bridge.

It's a good thing the water remained its color; but the sight of thrash including tables and plastic chairs was just, disheartening.

Some day, I would come by again to have a good walk, maybe some talk with the future lover of mine when the bridge is mended.

Lunch in the restaurant was BAD. Just pack your own lunch when you head to Tanjung Sepat because almost all restaurants here are a rip-off. Snack your way till dinner or throw a picnic. It would be so much better.

The visit to the Mushroom Factory was educational; and a surprising fact is the lady owner is a University Malaya graduate who have published papers and journals about the mushroom they cultivate here!

It's definitely something to be applauded because not many producers out there provide concrete published journals by scientific bodies to support the facts behind their products. Being a consumer from a science background, this would convince me more of that brilliance of their products over other seemingly scamming products in the market.

Nothing much apart from mushrooms, we ahead a little further down to visit Kuan Wellness Ecopark.

Its an agricultural product based company; something vet students like us would relate the best to. The park boasts of a robust selection of organic plant-based product; well mannered swiftlet nesting ground providing quality bird nests; a simple collection of vintage cars and some wildlife animals in their petting zoo.

The cars on display probably would attract some people, but I don't really dig vintages because they're all so small.

Their petting zoo is of about, garden size. It's nothing new to us because we have been dealing with so many different animals before in real zoos and our university's vicinity.However, its a great place for kids and couples to come over and feed the animals while petting them as laymen has minimal exposures to these animals anyway.

I'm pretty impressed with the recognition the swiftlet farm has attained. Recognition from the Department of Veterinary Services, HACPP and a few more organization definitely reassures consumers of the choice and quality of products made here.

The day ended with us going to Jenjarom to visit Fo Guang Shan Zen Temple.

I love visiting temples with closed shrine halls because they provide serenity and peace. The ambient soothes my mind and allows me to seek refuge in the teaching of Buddha more vividly.

Ice Queen said she was relieved I came along this trip because of the insights I provide to the exchange students. They were curious of the Buddha's images in miniature sizes places around the shrine hall, and what do they mean.

Initially thinking they were the deceased ones, I explained on how offerings to the Shrine hall works from my understanding. These Buddha images are actually merits. 

Families who wish to attain merits in their lives can do so by donating funds to the monastery in supporting the sustaining of the Buddha's teaching. In supporting the existence of the triple gems; Buddha, Dhamma and Sangha; Buddhism believes in collecting merits and hence bringing better karma in the future. Families may also offer these images to their relatives or deceased ones in the wish to collect merits, so that the deceased ones may be reborn into a better life with a better karma in the future.

At least that is how I understand the offering system works. The exchange students were impressed because it is intriguing have someone who'd actually understands what everything in the shrine hall meant. Well, not everything; but most of the thing.

I'm glad I assumed the President of Buddhist Fellowship back in my Form 6 days. I've learned so much more about the triple gems, most importantly Dhamma itself. I'm what I am today because of them.

The day ended with FGS as our final spot while we headed back home. It wasn't the BEST road trip; but it was certainly insightful. Thanks again to Ice Queen in pink for inviting!

Buffetting : When life spells Cinderella

And you'd hope fairy god mother/father comes into your life and pave the gateway in meeting your knight in shining armor.

Today has been a whole day of chores and errands; for everyone else but myself.

The day was spent in the company sorting out papers and documents and files; for the family company

The night; literally whole night was spent in the kitchen cooking for the family.

No rest was granted until 12.30 am when all the kitchen wares were cleaned ; the floor free from the oil splattered during fish frying; and the kitchen towels are soaked and cleaned in the chlorine.

Cleaning up towards the end made me think so hard:

Why do only I need to put my life on hold while everyone else gets to live theirs normally?

Tomorrow's the niece's (another post) full moon while the mom had to prepare; but only I stayed back in the house to help out and all.

The dad, the younger siblings all get to live their lives playing sports "competitively" so to speak.

Life sometimes really spells Cinderella for me; even though everyone else seemed to think I'm living the prince's.

Errands will never end when I'm home; and my name would be the first to be yelled for chores.

Until I have enough reason and ability to live out of this Cinderella story; or till the prince in shining armor comes gallantly on a horse to save me.

Buffetting : Zero Connection

A drama series jolted my thoughts on this.

Do you have a connection with your parents?

The character in the series had a connection with his dad; culinary.

And when I flash back in to my family; every other sibling had.

But me.

The younger siblings had connection with the parents with sports.

The elder sister had connection with mom with work, and some family matters.

I some how, has zero.

I don't digg badminton matches or do good in the sports.

I don't wish to work in the family company; not wish to deal with the matters.

Sometimes, I just feel like I'm an alien in the family.

It's not like I don't care, I tried to participate.

Over the academic years I somehow managed to isolate and do what I needed to do; study and live my life.

After today's fiasco I feel that even more.

It was about the confinement lady for my sister who just gave birth and I was trying to ask questions.

Because of how the parents perceived the question, misunderstanding mine; they shot me down.

I'm done trying.

Literally. These days I just go home, do my thing, they ask questions I respond coldly.

End.

Parents or not, somehow I just feel like I'm this disposal item in the family. When I'm back I do stuffs.

I'm only me, when I'm away from home.

2 more weeks, come on.

Buffetting : MBR

Great movie, seriously. 

It's just how things were to be different if only; if only everyone would just be accepting.

Long story short; it wasn't a happy ending.

But, the process was great. Every bits of it was something everyone wish to have in their relationship.

Love changes.

Love aches.

Love reciprocates.

but who knew, Love kills too.

Anyone who wants this can always get the soft-copy subbed from me!

quote: Love is not about courage. It's about to love; or not to love-- Golf. 

Buffetting : Speedy recovery

So I thought it was; or is it?

Looking through another star whom seeming I though looked like T before; surprisingly the character of my name too; made me realize I am gradually getting over T.

I guess its a speedy recovery; considering it was my first relationship. Some horoscope posted it usually takes 1 year for a Leo to forget someone; I wonder which date it begins?

On another hand, another person whom I realized have been texting me in odd times texted me on the social media. It was someone whom I have acquainted to for some time.

Man I was desperate enough to do some background check before I continued our conversation; thinking that something might happen.

It turns out it was an invitation to some health talk.

Well, at this point I give up in trying to think something magical like T would happen again. Heck, miracle happens only once; not annually or every leap year.

I need to get out there and recompose myself.

Being together with T for that 9 short months tolled me on my subtle side of relationship and its irking me.

But wait, I'm grounded at home or in the company for the next 3 weeks while the rest of the semester break is spent on practical with the usual gang.

Great, distractions you can come and pester now.

Buffetting : Over-Capability

There was once I adore the help everyone came to me for my flairs for various matters.

But as of now, I feel like they become unnecessary burdens.

Ice Queen, Lady Boss as well as fellow blogger Calvin mentioned this:

You are too capable.

Which I find, not true to certain extent.

If I were to be that capable, wouldn't I be earning bucks now?

or am I too dependable?

To the point that, everything single stuffs in the house probably lie under my nose.

Domestic work is probably the one I'm extremely frustrated; inclusive of the Office work while my sis is on her confinement, its as if I'm this free dude in his semester break whom only mission in life is to please everyone else but myself.

Take today for example;

The whole day was spent in the office running errands in my Monday blue attire.

Before the day ends, I still have to become my sister's driver to get her back home and all.

I'd swear if I were not to insist I am heading for combat at night, my parents would ought to get me to do the tuition driving too; while my younger brother gets the benefit of doubt because he is now training for competitive badminton.

I am complaining, yes. Like, even after someone else who have gotten all the abilities to run the house; I still have to step in to fix everything else while he lives his happy life; I have to do all errands.

Double standard much?

If I were to say I wish to work in a clinic; my parents being cynical they have always been to me would say that:

" We are all working like dogs and you go and treat dogs. You siao ar?"

But, my younger brother and sister get to go to their badminton training while claimed to be some side career or what ever shit.

It's always double standard in my family. My elder sis finally freed herself after her marriage; but apparently I will stick like this forever.

Until I get myself too busy to give myself the benefit of the doubt too.

Being forged over the years to be handling multiple chores and matters; sometimes one would really ask whether if this is worth all the trouble. Especially right now.

Buffetting : Small Ruminant Farm Practical Week 2 and 3

3 weeks passed by, somehow too fast yet too slow.

Fast because the people and environment were too conducive to learn:

1- I've learned to perform Artificial Insemination in goats. There is no way the university could have offered the chance to
2- I've learned to perform ultrasound pregnancy diagnosis on does with several indications, another chance the university probably wouldn't be able to offer.
3- I've also managed grab the chance to have my first horse-riding. Tiring, but it was certainly fun. Gives and idea on other riding opportunities*if you know what I mean*
4- People were nice, and veterinarian was extremely helpful and willingful to teach us all about small ruminant. Definitely have more to learn.

Slow because routine can be boring when the veterinarian is busy with office work, while we can't really do much with our limited knowledge,as well as access to treatments.

Ending the practical does tell me a few matters:

1- There is no way I will be in another practical with Gaga. Not a chance in hell. It's one thing if I were the only bitch, another when the whole group is definitely not into association.

2- Small ruminant IS a growing business; and an opportunity I would put serious thought about considering in my future investments. Large ruminant was what I intended, maybe it was the company; maybe it was the place. But this farm experience did cast a large impact on what I had in mind for my future farming prospects.

3- The original group I went with is still the most awesome group ever. Lady Boss, Ice Queen and Doraemi(named after her fanatic over Doraemon) were extremely nice and considerate in the whole practical. It was a blessing in disguise, and I'm surely looking forward for the upcoming 2 weeks practical with them.

managed to celebrate Ice Queen's 22nd Birthday with her family

Towards the end of the practical, I've managed to have some alone time with Lady Boss to talk about; plenty.

It has been a crazy academic year for both of us, and things began to change in various ways. We certainly have became extremely close in terms of friendship; and I truly appreciate the trust she lay on me about stuffs we discuss.

T left, and she certainly have dismissed the fact that T was pretty irresponsible for leaving me high and dry in the faithful Wesak.

能做你的好姐妹，才是我的福气。

But Lady Boss is an extremely nice person; and she still managed to light me up:

错过的是他不是你。要找到更好的。以你的人，不用怕。

True enough. It would be easier if some things were different. But the cards have been dealt, I guess I just have to play my way to the end of the game.

Maybe after I graduate, maybe not. Some how, I feel like I am traumatized in a certain mild way in this territory of life.

Buffetting : Ethics and Etiquette

As veterinary students, we have been advised and reminded constantly to be aware of what we say, what we do, what we preach and even what we post online in the social media.

In a few more years, I would be registered under a professional body and board. holding title of a Dr.

That title, bears not just the responsibility to the animals but social responsibility as well.

Somehow, there are juniors these days who lack the wisdom to filter the information which deems fit to be shared to the public; or purely  academical.

An example would be as follow:

The picture above shows me feeding a kid with a milk bottle; something which even laymen can do in farms and its not an extremely profession based skill. Of course, there are methods in restraining the kid, as well as techniques to prevent choking by the kid. Yet, its still something most laymen can relate well.

The following picture:

The picture above shows a crush to restrain a doe to raise its rear for us to perform Artificial Insemination. At this point, nothing gory; nor any needles or blood has been shown. The rear was merely raised, and the animal isn't in distress or unfit in anyway to be shown to the public However, if I were to put a picture of a vulva(vaginal opening) retracted with an AI gun injected into it, it would be deemed as an academical information. One which I would need to get the permission from the owner of the goat to disclose the information, because the technique, tools and animal might not be in a publicly fit condition to be shown. 

Others include surgical procedures or gory wound pictures.

This is something, at least I would press hard in keeping the right information to be deemed academic or publicly safe.

its okay to steal a nap whenever you can in our profession too!

It's the veterinary ethics and etiquette, which I truly hope some juniors would remember if you are reading, and be wise. Don't disgrace the veterinary profession.