Sidetrack from university life, or rather maybe its just all jumbling up together.
I have no idea why, its just at this point of life the idea of relationship keeps on jumping into the picture.
I was, one heck of a person who negates from getting into relationships since forever.
I had studies.
I had activities.
I had work.
Heck I had no confidence.
It was until recently the girls in my course have been telling me how outstanding I am compared to the rest of the current 1st years, well at least among the vet students.
Since there's only 9 guys in the current vet 1st years, the market among same course's opposite sex is obviously larger.
2 are taken, another 2 are very much larger and shorter in size, another 2 more do have their own agendas, perhaps less capable and outspoken like I do, 1 more is still too childish, and the last one is nothing but a studying robot.
So I'm left, single, with car(heck I'm the first year who brought car since the 1st day of university) outspoken, appropriate outlook.
And with that I have also felt some affection radiating from a few of the opposite sex in my course.
Being single for the past 20 years, and still thinking of celibacy till I hit 30, I just couldn't reciprocate these feelings of the girls.
It seemed unfair, to them and myself.
I have yet to get the precise answer to my lifelong partnership, I do not wish to be in their ways in attaining someone who is as good, or perhaps better than I am.
On the other hand, I now started to think of getting into relationships, of course with anyone which allows me to plunge towards without any logic considerations.
Apparently I have yet to met any who I am able to plunge into, just a few picks I see around university who I've probably talk less than 3 sentence to them in my whole life, some perhaps never.
To me, if logic comes into my way, it's not THE one. When it comes to term "love" its gotta be blind and just flushes my head till I go dizzy.
With my level of conscious, I'd probably can only fall in love when I'm with half a bottle of wine down my throat.
Alrighty, lets not think about relationships now, at least not till I'm really prepared for it.
Don't overthink it :) Don't think of the one, don't think of relationships, don't think of commitment. Far too early for such thoughts. Just go out and meet some people.
ReplyDelete@savante: meet only ar? nothing else?
ReplyDeleteUp to you whether you want to do anything else :) Be safe.
ReplyDelete@savabte: okay i'll stick to meet only. one way to just open up the options without consequences right? not ready to go more than that.
ReplyDeleteDo you think that you are lack of self confidence?if you think so, then, actually you have self confidence, as you are confident that you are lack of self confident.Sometime, we'll just have to let go the illusion that our thoughts had made
ReplyDelete@wiz: haha you speak like I do! When I'm giving others advices as well.
ReplyDeleteIllusions eh? Well, I'd probably haven't have the courage to let go yet. Talk about insecurity.
i guess we all have it, well, some 1 told me before, just look at it, fear is not you, its just a feeling, relax, and watch it, not to be dragged by it
ReplyDelete@wiz: yea easy to be said than done though. sometimes it just take heck lot more to step out, even more whe you are a baby in that particular area.
ReplyDelete