Thursday, March 18, 2010

Buffetting : Hatred

Have you ever just have a surge of hatred towards a person without any particular reason?

Fine, I had some bad times with her but some how I just started to hate this family friend of my mum's.


Why?


Well, lets say she is being a little nosy, especially when it comes to my privacy and choices.


Remember I used to indulge in squash?


Well, I had a great time there. My family's badminton time clashes with my squash trainings , so I had to sit the family's session out.

Why should I sacrifice my passion for my family interest?


So the system went on for a long time, until she turns up.


She say I'm deserting myself from my family.



Bloody arse.


I'm pursuing my passion, my life and my ambition.

How is that being deserting?

She brainwashed my mom and my mom started to force and threaten me to join them.


I declined.



And there she goes, having her whole "you are not my son" fiasco again.


And I had to miss my best friend's birthday celebration out.


5 years of solid friendship.


And me being closest to him have to miss it only because I did not join my family's badminton session.


Outrageous and unreasonable.

Yes, I know but thats how the veto power runs in my family.



From then onwards, I have this sudden urge that its this lady who brainwashed my mom.


And I found out, exactly it was her.


Then the hatred continued to burn in me, until today.



I don't know. Maybe I'm being vindictive, over-reacting what ever.



Yet, I know my sub-conscious is telling me that this lady, is not the lady I would want to consolidate to , ever.



Anyway, scratch that. I literally beat myself up for not performing well in my badminton session today.


I'm looking at my left arm, trying to not feel sorry over the bruises and killed red blood cells, not to mention neurones.


It's ok. That's how I manage stress most of the time.



3 days before holidays are over, and I have 5 more subjects to catch up in the homework, not to mention revision.


STPM and MEXT scholarship, I'm nailing you down.

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