Remaining so gives both of us space to exploit and talk to each other; even asking favors from each other.
T dropped me a message in the social media, asking for help in vetting the presentation on Diabetes mellitus.
Without second thoughts I said yes.
Why wouldn't I? I'd literally say yes to every other vetting requests I had from others before.
But this is pretty different. Should I say I'm doing this because we are still friends? Or deep down I secretly hope we have another go at this?
On the freaky side of this, just minutes before Lady Boss was talking about how she stalked my profile together with Ice Queen on my latest birthday wish to T; and how "into" I was when singing the song; and then T texted me on the social media. Freaky.
Maybe T just think of us as friends now. Let's not think about anything else. I have no rights to think about romance when I earn no peanuts or has no career to support my life yet.
Should I continue agreeing to check T's script? Oh wait, I already said yes.
Let go, move on and never look back.
ReplyDeleteThat's a rare sight seeing you here! hahahaha.
DeleteI tried multiple times, really. I had all these alone talks to the point I've decided so many times to not look back.
But the fact remains that we are still friends, and that chance of us talking is still there. And heck I spent the whole night fixing T's presentation for school with T.
There wasn't much romantic vibe throughout because it was all academic, but people from outside probably think T is just taking advantage of my English for school...
Cakap sudah over T but this post proves otherwise. Haha... Actually deep down you're still hoping there would be another chance that this romance would blossom in the future and that's what you hope but on the logical side of your brain, you know you shouldn't even harbour that hope because you know T is not interested in you, not at least in the romantic spectrum but your emotional side doesn't want to acknowledge that because you know by acknowledging the truth, you won't have any chance anymore. Whether he's taking advantange of you or not is not the problem. As long as you're willing to help, even though you know he's taking advantage, you would still help him, then nobody can say anything about it because it's your decision.
ReplyDeleteYa la ya la you win you win. You so smart guess everything already lo.....
DeleteThe inner struggle happens everyday and all I did when I made decisions was shoving those feelings down the carpet.
At points I do get over T already, but each time the taunting occur you can't blame those feelings come rolling back, nor can you help it.
Yea, it is my decision. No regrets over that. I just hope my head wouldn't just dive into the whole void again. Of course it would be so different right now.
Haha, looking from the comments and your reply, it seems you still have a soft spot for T. It's best to know what he wants out of this. I know of someone who played on my feelings and at the end, told me we weren't right for each other.
ReplyDeleteI held on to my emotions and told myself that this person my just be playing on me. That this person wants me but isn't brave enough to say it.
Alas, it was just me being silly.
Just set your priorities right. ;) And those busy body aunties so free kah? Ask them go save the world lah. Teehee. Don't think too much, CNY around the corner, don't bring your sorrows and heartaches into the new year, or else they last the whole year long then you'd be screwed. Supporting you from afar (at the moment) and back at UPM later on.
Who wouldn't hahaha T is generally a darling to begin with. Well I guess T genuinely wanted help on the assignment and dot. No contact after that, not that its different from when were together hahaha. T never really told me the reason we broke up, but I'm done with the guessing game and I've always said that I will be waiting once T is ready or not.
DeleteHmm, T is a bully for sure, like the typical man after courtship and all. But being in lobe means being silly as well, so yea whaddaya expect right?
As for priorities, well helping T means helping to revise anyway. It's not like I have not been doing that all these while its like a side assignment for me. I think I've gone past sorrows and heartache as of now, but it doesn't mean those feelings will just go away.
Thanks for the support!